The Wolf Within Me
by Writing Sins Not Tragedies
Summary: Remus has learnt to control his wolf side, but with his new control comes new emotions. His wolf desires a mate, and picks the person he least expects. And, a wolf pack takes a certain interest in the young werewolf, and Remus is forced to use his new found control to save those he loves. REMUSxSIRIUS JAMESx LILLY
1. Chapter 1: Back to Hogwarts

**Chapter 1: Back to Hogwarts**

The summer had felt long, and a little bit lonely. I was glad that it was finally coming to an end. I would be able to see Sirius, James and Peter again. I had been busy over the holidays, and hadn't been able to spend much time with my friends. There had been a few letters sent between us, but not a lot. I hadn't seen much of my father either, it had been a busy summer for him too. He worked long hours at the ministry, but I didn't mind.

Not long before the end of my fifth year, at Hogwarts, my father had sent me a letter. The letter told me about a man whom he had found, and met, who could teach me about being a werewolf. The man wasn't well known but claimed to be able to control his wolf, during a full moon. It was a dream come true. I would no longer have to worry about becoming a beast.

I met the man the day after I returned home. He introduced himself as Alexander; he was forty-nine, had short black hair, and blue eyes. He was rather tall, and quite handsome. We spent our first meeting discussing his life. He told me how he became a werewolf, and how it had taken him years to understand the beast within. He could understand his wolf's emotions and urges; he understood how to subdue the animals mind. Becoming 'one with his wolf' was how he described it. His felt stronger than ever before, his senses even more advanced. Even his magic had an extra boost.

Everything he said sounded great. I would be a new man and could live my life the way I wanted too. But, there were down sides. I would go through stages where my hormones would go into overdrive. My wolf would search for a mate. I would become aroused often, especially during the full moon.

It would all be hard work, but I knew that in the end it would be worth it.

Alexander taught me from day one everything I needed to know; four days a week we trained, and it didn't take long for me to see a difference. Being able to communicate with my wolf, I learned that he wasn't a monster, or a mindless beast, but an animal who was controlled by his instincts to hunt. I learned more about him, and even began to accept him as part of me. Working together, I felt stronger, physically, than ever before. Even my magic seemed to be stronger, my spells had more force and power. I came to see my wolf as a blessing, not a curse.

When the first full moon came around, I became nervous. Alexander had constantly reminded me that everything would be fine, and that he would be by my side through it all. He told me that my wolf's instincts would make it hard to take control, especially on the first transformation. I was not to have any expectation of success after the first attempt. However, when the night came and went, everything felt different. When I woke the next day, I remembered the whole night. I didn't have any broken bones, only a few scratches. I had a small amount of success, and I wasn't going to give up.

With every full moon Alexander and I transformed, and by the third moon I spent the whole night in control. My wolf and I worked together to control our instincts and simply enjoy the night. Alexander also showed me what a wolf could do. He showed me how fast we could run, how strong we could be, he showed me the power that a wolf possessed.

The day after my third full moon Alexander gave me a new test. Standing in the middle of the woods he told me to force myself to change. If I could willingly turn into a wolf on any other day, then I would be one step closer to full control. It was a hard task. My wolf seemed to refuse the change, but slowly as the days went by, I went from turned my hand into a claw, to becoming a full wolf.

My last few weeks of summer Alex took me on a bit of a camping trip into the forest, just for a bit of wolf fun before school started. It had been fantastic and when I returned home my father took the week off and we spent my last week of freedom together. We also went and brought all my books and new clothes and items for the year.

Over the summer, I had changed and I had grown. I was now six-foot-tall and lanky, but my muscles had started to show, my hair had grown and was now long enough to cover my face. My father had also mentioned that for the first time in a long time I looked healthier, I had more meat on my bones and my skin was no longer pale, it was a gentle warm tan colour.

I hadn't realized until I looked at an old picture, that showed Sirius and I at last Christmas, how much I had really changed. I hadn't realized how sickly pale I had been, I looked like death; but now, a lot had changed.

Sitting in my room the night before I was set to leave for Hogwarts, I was going through all my books and equipment, and my luggage, just to make sure I have everything. The last few things I would pack the next morning just before I left. I wasn't tired but I was nervous to return to school, but I was also excited about seeing my friends again. The thing that worried me though, was the control of my wolf. I would experience my first full moon without Alexander, and it was frightening, I didn't know what would happen.

When the next morning came, I was up before my dad, dressed in my muggle clothing, which consisted of jeans, converses and a t-shirt along with a jacket. I had everything down stairs and was waiting to leave. It had been too long since I had seen my friends and I was excited to catch up, I was just hope they wouldn't be angry that I had replied to their letters all summer. I hadn't really had the time to reply.

Once my father was dressed we stood walked out the front, living in the muggle suburbs, an hour outside of London we packed up the car and left. Living in a normal muggle home my father thought was best, it was a small country town that was surround by woods and farms and it had a lot of space for me to run around when I changed. Also, being in the muggle world I wasn't shunned by witches and wizard. No one knew what I was. Not everyone knew of course but for those who did and didn't like werewolves, I could avoid.

The drive in the car was silent, my father and I didn't really talk much unless we were at home. We said a few words here and there and I hummed along to the radio but when we arrived at the station I was excited. Finally going back to Hogwarts, we loaded up a cart with everything and made our way through the station that was hidden between platforms nine and ten. I spotted some familiar students with their parents heading towards the platform.

Once on the platform it was almost time to leave, so I quickly made it down to a carriage and my dad helped me put my things on the train. I hugged my dad goodbye and he handed me a box. I took it and asked, "What is this?"

He smiled. "Your mum was going to give it to you for your 16th birthday, and I figured since I won't most likely get to see you on your birthday I am giving it to you now."

I returned his smile.

"Don't open it till you are on the train though, ok," he said.

I nodded and hugged him once more before climbing onto the train.

I was excited.

Walking through, I had no idea where Sirius, James and Peter were, but hopefully, I would find them or they would find me. After searching a few carriages with no luck, I found an empty compartment and walked in. Sitting down I looked at the box my father had given me. Opening the box, inside was a simple black wrist band, made from leather. On the chain was a silver charm in the shape of a howling wolf. I couldn't help but smile, and tears gathered in my eyes. It was amazing. I wrapped it around my wrist, and opened the letter that had been beneath it.

 _Dear Remus,_

 _Your sixteen already, I cannot believe this._

 _If you are ready this letter I know I have passed on. I made sure to write this just in case because you never know. I was always a sick child, and it had either caught up with me as an adult or for some other reason, but I know for a fact that I will be proud of the young man you are now, and for the amazing man you will be one day._

 _I found this the day we went shopping together, just you and me, when your father was away on his mysteries business trip. I remember it clearly because it was the week that you turned the first time and I was trying to cheer you up, and I am sure that I was successful. Well, I think I was. Unless you just smiled to make me happy._

 _By giving you this I wanted to make sure you knew that I love you, I always have and I always will no matter what happens in the future, and no matter what trouble being a werewolf causes for you. Always know that your father and I love you. And nothing could ever change that._

 _I love you so much my beautiful son._

 _Happy 16_ _th_ _Birthday._

 _Love Mum xoxo_

Smiling at the letter I felt a few tears fall down my face but I wiped them away.

I waited patiently in the compartment, and finally Sirius appeared in the doorway. He smiled. "MOONY!" He dropped beside me on the seat and pulled me into a big hug. "I missed you."

I smiled. "Missed you too."

"HEY GUYS! I FOUND HIM!" Sirius didn't let me go.

James and Peter appeared in the door. "Moony!" They both joined in the hug.

"Okay, let me go please."

They all released me and we got comfortable. It didn't take them long to bombard me with questions.

"What were you doing all summer?"

"Did you find a girlfriend?"

"Was it fun?"

"Did you get laid?"

"Why couldn't you hang out with us?"

"Were there any sort of sexual acts?"

I couldn't help but laugh at them. But as the train began to move, I explained all about my summer. They were all amazed, and Sirius seemed to have a hundred questions. He seemed to think that now my amazing werewolf controlled turned me into some sort of superhero. I had to stop letting him borrow any comic books.

We got to Hogsmeade station not long after dark. Dressed in our uniform, we hopped off the train. Sirius and James watched as the scared first years walked towards one of the professors. Every year they had a prank for the first years, and every year they got busted. But it didn't stop them.

I grabbed them by their shirts and dragged them towards the carriages. I wasn't waiting around while their trouble maker minds got to work. I was hungry and wanted to get to the castle. I pulled Sirius onto the carriage, and wanted to laugh as he pouted at me.

"You treat me like a child." He crossed his arms.

I patted his head. "It's because you are."

James jumped up with Peter, and said, "That you are."

"You're no better." Lilly Evans joined us. She sat beside James and kissed him on the cheek.

None of us knew how, but, James had finally managed to convince Lilly to give him a shot. It could have been out of pity, or simple desire to get him to give up; but one date turned into two, which turned into five months of dating. It had been a surprise when they told us; I still struggled to believe it. But all that mattered was that they seemed happy.

Sirius frowned at us all. "Why do I always get picked on?"

I smiled. "Because you make it easy."

Sirius shoved my arm. "You suck. I'm going to find new friends."

We all laughed at him.

It was good to be back.


	2. Chapter 2: First Full Moon

**Chapter 2: First Full Moon**

Waking up in the Gryffindor common room put a big smile on my face. Being back at school, with all my friends, was exciting. I laid in my bed and simply listened for a moment. I could hear Peter snoring loudly on the other side of the room. Sirius was half hanging out of his bed, drool falling from his mouth; and James, he had somehow managed to flip himself in his sleep, his head at the foot end of his bed, and his feet at the other end. I couldn't help but laugh.

Getting ready for classes, I showered, dressed, and packed my bag. Not even one of the boys had woken up though. I moved over to Peter and gently nudged him. He woke up, and looked at me confused for a moment. He was always the easiest to wake up. Next was James. I nudged him, again, and again, and again. But nothing. I exposed his feet and began to tickle him. It was his one and only ticklish spot. He squirmed and almost fell from his bed. Sitting up, he swatted at my arm, and reached for his glasses. Last was Sirius. It was almost impossible to wake the dog up, but I wasn't one to give up so easily. I tried to normal things first; nudging, shaking, tickling. But, nothing. Sitting down beside him, I pushed him onto his back, and frowned. Dumping water on him had worked in the past, but that only proceeded to make him angry. So, instead, I leant down and said, "Sirius, wake up."

He didn't move.

"Sirius," I said, a little louder.

Still nothing.

"SIRIUS!" I yelled.

He jumped up, startled and fumbled around. Only to fall off his bed. "What the hell?"

I couldn't help but laugh at him.

He pulled himself of the floor and frowned at me. "What was that for?"

I smiled. "You wouldn't wake up."

"Still, I think I'm deaf now."

"You're fine." I walked over to my bed. "Now get ready, you all overslept and will be late for breakfast."

The boys looked at the time and all dashed for the bathroom.

* * *

I sat at the Gryffindor table, by myself, enjoy my meal. Peter had been the first to appear, but James and Sirius were nowhere in sight. There was every possibility that they had fallen back to sleep. I had taken their schedules from Professor McGonagall, and would wait to give it to them once they appeared.

The sound of giggles caught my attention. Looking up, Severus was walking into the hall. His hair was a mixture of pink and purple. Clearly, he had run into some trouble on his way. James and Sirius slipped in just after him, both trying to contain their laughter. Sirius sat beside me, while James dropped beside Peter. They looked at me, then each other before cracking. They laughed so hard, that they began to cry.

I shook my head at them. "You two are pathetic."

"You should have seen his face," said James.

Sirius snorted. "It was priceless." It was struggling to breath, that he started to cough.

"Breath, Padfoot." I whacked him on the back. "And here." I gave them both their timetables.

"Oh, sweet," said Sirius. "We got the same classes all week." He nudged my arm.

Somehow, he managed to keep his grades high, while also having plenty of time to plan his pranks with James.

"Yes, so hurry up and eat. We have advanced potions up first." I dumped a piece of toast on his plate.

He smiled. "Yes, mother."

I rolled my eyes.

He quickly ate his food and off we all went. Peter was the only one who wasn't taking potions. We made our way to the dungeons. James smiled when he spotted Lilly. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pecked her on the cheek. "Good morning, beautiful."

Lilly smiled and turned around. "Morning." She returned his peck. "And good morning to you both as well." She looked at Sirius and I. "Also, I just want to say I'm so proud of you." She looked back at James.

James smiled. "For what?"

"Oh, you know…" She reached up and grabbed James by the ear, and yanked hard.

James cried out in pain.

"What on earth did you do to Severus's hair?"

"Lilly, baby. It isn't permeant. It will wear off by the end of the day."

"That isn't the point. And you know it."

Sirius chuckled beside me. He tried to hide it, but he caught Lilly's attention. She released James and grabbed him instead. He cried out.

"And don't think I don't know you helped."

"I'm sorry," whimpered Sirius. He looked at me for help.

I lifted my hand in surrender. "Don't drag me into this. I'm not help you out."

"Some friend you are." Sirius struggled against Lilly.

* * *

The first few days flew by and everything was the way it had always been. James and Sirius causing grief for teachers and students, Lilly yelling at them and mothering them. It was like we were some weird family, one that I loved being a part of. And as the full moon drew close, I could tell that Sirius was beginning to worry. He would constantly ask me how I was feeling, and made sure that no one bothered me too much. He was trying to be a good friend but was getting on my nerves.

I woke up on the Saturday morning of the full moon, to see Sirius's smiling face above me. I frowned at him and pushed him away. "What are you doing?"

"James is off with Lilly for the day, something about having a couple's day. Peter is apparently in the library doing his homework, don't know how much of that is true. So, you and I are going to hang out today."

"Is that so?"

"Yes, that is so."

"And what do you want to do?"

"Well, I was thinking we could…"

As I got dressed, he listed off all the things he wanted to do. It seemed to me like he was trying to keep my mind off the coming night. And he succeeded. All day he kept me busy. We went down to Hogsmeade, played a few games of chess, a bunch of games of exploding snap. He even dragged me down to the lake where we enjoyed our lunch. It was a fun day.

But as the sun began to sink down behind the mountains, I began to feel irritated. Like always, my body began to ache, and my senses were over sensitive. Every smell, taste, and touch.

I, somehow, finished dinner and told the boys that I would see them at the Shrieking Shack. I made it to the Whomping Willow and slipped through the whole. I stumbled up the passageway, and into the foyer of the hold house. I could feel the moon outside. The pull of the change grew stronger by the minute.

Upstairs, I took off my clothes and placed them neatly in the corner. I stood in the centre of the room and stretching my arms above my head. My whole body was stiff. The first bone broke. It cracked with a loud snap, and the pain shot through my body. My right leg broke next. I fell to the ground, and let out a scream. Bone, after bone. Scream, after scream. It was natural to just want to become numb, to let go of your emotions and control. But I couldn't. I had to stay in control of everything. Moony wasn't allowed to take over. I felt my skin break and the Moony's fur grow over my body. It was almost over. I threw my head back and let out a bone chilling scream which changed into a howl.

It was over. I was a wolf now. I stretched out my body and moved around the room. My body was sore from the change, but the pain would disappear soon.

A whine from behind me didn't surprise me. I turned around to see Padfoot in the door. He was looking at me with a smile. He walked over and nudged my legs. I leant my head down and nudged him back.

I followed him downstairs and outside into the woods. Prongs and Wormtail were waiting for us outside. Sirius took off running first, he barked and disappeared into the trees. I smiled and took off after him, it was good to be running. We chased one another all through the dark forest. It was our own version of tag.

We ended up at the edge of a lake, and we all needed a drink. I leant down to lap at the water. Sirius nudged the side of my face, and I nudged him back. He was always so playful as a dog. I knocked him into the water and he frowned at me. I laughed and jumped in beside him.

We made our way back to the Shrieking Shack not long after midnight. I was exhausted, and needed to sleep. Upstairs in the main bedroom, I curled up on the floor. Over the years, the boys had brought a bunch of old blankets and pillows, and made a make-shift bed the size Moony could fit in.

I curled up into a ball and closed my eyes. I felt Padfoot's fur against my leg, and opened at eyes to see him. He curled up beside me. We laid together so some time. But, I couldn't sleep.

Sirius turned back at some point. I opened my eyes slowly and saw him lean against me. He wasn't even bothered that I was in my beast form. His fingers slowly stroked across my leg. He turned to look me in the eye, and he smiled.

My body felt like it began to hum. Moony howled inside my head. My heart beat sped up, and suddenly nothing else seemed to matter by Sirius. I seemed to lose control for a moment, because, my body shift and I leant towards Sirius. I nuzzled his face and touched his shoulder. My mouth open and I nibbled at his shoulder.

"Hey." His voice was gentle, but startled. "What are you doing?"

I bit down slightly.

"Hey, Moony." He grasped my face in both of hands, and pulled me away. "What are you doing?" He stroked my nose.

I didn't know what I was doing, Moony seemed to have taken over for a spilt second. I nuzzled his hands and laid my head down in his lap. I wanted to be near him. I didn't want him to move his hands away.

I woke up the next morning covered in a blanket. Sirius was lying beside me. James and Peter were nowhere in sight. I sat up looked at Sirius. Just seeing him my heart began to thump in my chest. I knew what this feeling was. Moony had decided last night that he wanted Sirius. He wanted him as our mate.


	3. Chapter 3: The Mark

**Chapter 3: The Mark**

Two week. Two weeks since the full moon and Moony was driving me crazy. I had woken up every day, after having dreams about Sirius, with a massive hard on. Sneaking into the bathroom, I dealt with my problem. I was worried that someone would catch me. And I was also worried about how to approach Sirius. _What was I meant to say to him?_ Could I just come out and tell him, or should I just ignore it? Ignoring it seemed impossible though. Moony was howling in my head, begging me to just take him. But I couldn't. He was one of my best friends.

I sat beside Sirius in potions. He, for once, was focused on taking down the notes that Professor Slughorn had asked us to copy. I, on the other hand, couldn't focus on anything except him. Every movement, I watched. Every word that came from his mouth, I couldn't focus on anything else. It was driving me crazy.

On multiple occasions James, Peter and Sirius all asked me if I was alright. I had just blamed it on the full moon. I was tired. Lilly had even noticed my strange behaviour. They seemed to accept my excuses, but sooner or later, someone would notice.

Sending a letter to Alexander seemed like the only option I had. He would have to have some answers for me. And for a whole week I hoped. But he didn't. Alexander had told me I only had two options. I could talk to Sirius, or I could find someone to help me relieve myself. I didn't like either option.

But as I sat beside Sirius, I felt like I had no choice. There had to be a way for me to explain without freaking him out. Maybe there would be a book with an easy explanation. I didn't know. I just had to talk to him.

Professor Slughorn dismissed us early, and we all rushed out the door. I slung my bag over my shoulder and grabbed Sirius's arm. "Hey."

He smiled. "Hey."

"Um…can we talk…in private."

He looked confused. "Yeah, sure. Is everything okay?"

I nodded. "Yeah. I just needed to talk to you about something."

"Okay."

We walked back to the common room, in an awkward silence. Once in our room I dropped my bag on my bed and tried to think of a way to explain it to him. He sat down on his own bed and watched me. I paced for a minute. _How did I explain?_

Sirius stood from his bed and grabbed my shoulders. "Whatever is going on, you need to relax. Take a deep breath, and just tell me." He smiled softly. "You look like your about to pass out."

"Right, sorry." I took a deep breath. "I don't know how to explain this to you."

He squeezed my shoulders. "Whatever it is, relax. I'm not going to run away."

I took another deep breath. "During the last full moon, when we were lying in the shack, something happened."

"Yeah, Moony bit me." He chuckled. "It's no big deal though."

"I know, you told me that already."

"Then what's bothering you."

"Moony picked out a mate."

"A mate?"

"Yeah. As in someone he wants us to be with."

"And?"

"Well, you see…the thing is…that he picked you."

"Me?"

"Yeah."

He released my shoulders and looked down at the floor. I couldn't tell if he was angry or disgusted, his face was blank. He surprised me by undoing his shirt and pulling it off his shoulder. "Is that why this appeared?"

On his shoulder was a mark. It looked like a tattoo. The mark was in the shape of a half moon. I had seen the mark once before. Alexander had drawn it to show me what a mating mark looks like. The mark will appear on a potential mate, and will remain until they become an official mate or another mate is chosen.

"Answer me." Sirius pulled his shirt back up.

"Yes."

"And you just suddenly decided that I would be a good match for you?"

"I didn't decide it. Moony did. It was all him."

"So, you don't want me as your mate?"

"I don't know what I want. All I do know is that Moony is driving me crazy. Every time I'm around Moony begs me to be with you."

Sirius turned away from me and looked out the window.

I wanted to beg for him to forgive me. Tell him, that I was sorry. He couldn't blame me, could he? It wasn't my fault.

"I'm sorry."

Sirius shook his head. "I don't want to take about this." He stormed out of the room.

I didn't know what to do. It was clear that he was disgusted in me. I had to find a way to remove the bond. There had to be a way to change Moony's mind, and make him pick someone else. There had to be a way.

* * *

I spent hours in the library. The librarian, Irma Pince, had continued to ask me if I required any assistance. Normally, I would have jumped at the chance to ask her about what books she would recommend, but I found myself too embarrassed to ask.

It was getting close to eight o'clock, and finding my answer was nowhere in sight. The stacks of books around me were no help. I think I had almost found every book on werewolves in the library but none of them had the answers that I wanted. They talked about the signs of finding a mate, and the mating process; but there was nothing about getting rid of a possible mate.

I slammed the book in front of me closed and dropped my head onto the table. Everything was going wrong. Why couldn't I find the answers I need? The books around me began to float up and fly away. The library was closing and putting itself back, ready for tomorrow. I stood from my seat and grabbed my bag. There was nothing I could do now.

I made my way back to the common room. The idea of having dinner made me feel sick, and all I wanted to do was sleep. I walked slowly back, and was surprised when someone called my name. Turning around I came face to face with Severus Snape.

"Lupin," he said.

I asked, "What can I do for you, Severus?"

He looked anywhere but directly at me. "I know that we aren't…well, we do have any sort of relationship, but I was hoping you would give this to Lilly for me?" He held out a letter.

"Sure." I took it.

"Thank you."

I turned to leave.

"Wait…"

I turned back. "Yes?"

"Um…look, as I said, we aren't friends but I can tell that you are having a war within yourself. Something is bugging you."

I frowned. "Why would it be any of your concern?"

He shrugged. "Well, technically you have never done anything against me. I merely disliked you due to association with Potter and Black. And I have seen you the last few weeks, and something is confusing you. If you could talk about it with your friends then you would have. Clearly you can't, so…if you need to talk…I'm all ears."

I was surprised. We had never exchanged anything but a few simple words. And normally they weren't friendly. Why would he suddenly want to be friends? I didn't know what to say, so I said, "Okay?" It was more of a question.

"Um…yeah. And thanks for the letter."

I nodded.

He turned and walked away.

It was the weirdest conversation I had ever had. And it only just added to my confusion. I had better things to worry about.

When I got back to the common room, I found Lilly lying on the couch next to the fireplace. She had books around her, and a plate of food beside her. Clearly, skipping dinner wasn't only my idea. She looked up and smiled at me. "Hey, where have you been all day?"

"In the library," I said.

She frowned. "I'm surprised the boys left you in peace."

"Yeah, me too." I went to walk upstairs but remembered the letter. "Oh, by the way. Severus wanted me to give you this."

Lilly frowned and sat up. "Too chicken to deliver it himself."

"Did you have an argument or something?"

"I wouldn't call it an argument. More like, he insulted my choice of boyfriend, and then called me a mudblood."

I frowned. "He what?"

"He didn't mean it. And I know that for a fact. But, still doesn't mean that it didn't hurt."

"If I had known that I would have punched him."

"Yeah, well, no one knows. Not even James."

"Why didn't you tell him?"

"Because James will react by challenging Severus to a dual, or he will take his pranks and turn them into something much worse."

"I see your point."

"I would appreciate it if you didn't say anything."

"My lips are sealed. But next time I see that git I'm going to give him a black eye."

She smiled. "And I wouldn't blame you for it."

I left Lilly to finish her studies, and went and climbed into my own bed. Tomorrow I needed to find some answers. I didn't know what would happen between Sirius and I if I didn't.


	4. Chapter 4: The Tear Between Two

**Chapter 4: The Tear Between Two**

I returned to the library the next day. I searched for books that I hadn't found, but there wasn't anything new. I re-read the books I had read, but there were no answers. Sitting at the table, I knew my answer wasn't anywhere within Hogwarts library. I would simply have to ask Alexander to look for me.

I sent my books back to their shelves, collected my bag, and decided to walk down to the lake. I needed to stretch my legs and get some fresh air. It always helped me to collect my thoughts.

I was pleasantly surprised that no one else was walking by the lake. Not a single student or teacher in sight. Taking a seat by the water I couldn't help but feel hopeless. From Sirius's reaction of him becoming a possible mate was anything to go by, then our friendship would be over. He would never want to talk to me again, or even come near me. Everything had been completely screwed up.

The cool breeze blowing off the lake was refreshing. I closed my eyes and tried to just let everything go, even if it was for a moment. I didn't even get the chance when a loud argument caught my attention. I turned around to see Sirius standing face to face, chest to chest, with none other than Lucius Malfoy. Both were yelling at one another. I watched as Lucius shoved Sirius, before Sirius pulled out his want. I jumped up and ran over to them, as Lucius pulled out his wand.

"Stop it." I stepped in between them.

Sirius frowned. "Move, Remus."

"No." I returned his frown.

He sighed. "Remus, let me knock this up-tight ass on his ass."

"Sirius, this is stupid and you know it."

Lucius said, "Just let the mutt do what he does best, Lupin."

"Shut up, Malfoy." I didn't take my eyes off Sirius. "Put the wand down before I knock you on your ass."

"Seriously?" He dropped his arms

"You know that I can kick your ass in a duel. Anytime and anywhere."

"I don't have time to listen to you two bicker. If we aren't going to fight Black, then I'm leaving."

I kept my eyes on Sirius. He sighed and put his wand away.

"Typical. Whim." Lucius turned and walked away.

Sirius turned his eyes on Lucius. "What did you call me?" He moved to attack him.

I grabbed him and held him back. "Stop it."

He fought against me as Lucius walked away. When he was almost gone, Sirius finally shoved me off. "Don't touch me."

I stepped back from him.

He asked. "Why do you always have to interfere with everything? Can't you just let me be?"

I shook my head. "No."

"Why not?"

"Because you're my best friend!" I yelled.

"Best friend? Or because your wolf side wants me as something to play with?"

"It isn't like that. You know that."

He scoffed. "Do I?"

"Yes. You have and always be my best friend. I never chose you, it was all Moony. You can't blame me for what he wants."

He shook his head.

"You really don't understand, do you?"

"What am I not understanding? I can see that it clearly disgusts you that Moony wants you as our mate. I am trying to find a way to change it. But even with every book I've read I can't find anything. I'm trying."

"You are such a bloody moron." He turned and stormed off.

I didn't understand. _What did I do wrong?_

* * *

Sirius had avoided me for the rest of the day. If he saw me coming, he turned and walked the other way. James and Peter had given me odd looks when they saw him, but I just shrugged and walked off. I couldn't explain to them what was going on. I didn't properly what I had done to make him so angry. I told him I was trying to fix it.

As I sat in D.A.D.A listening as our teacher went on, I couldn't help but wonder what would happen next. Instead of Sirius sitting beside me, he had swapped seats with Lilly. The couple had given both of us questioning glances, but neither of us explained. I could tell by the look in Lilly's eye that she was determined to figure out what our issue was.

I tried to focus on my work, but I could feel eyes on me. The first time it was Lilly. She kept glances at both Sirius and I with concern. The second time it was James, and same as Lilly, he looked very concerned. The third time sent shivers up my spine. I looked over my shoulder to see Severus looking at me.

When class ended, I left as quickly as possible. I avoided James and Lilly's questioned and moved in the direction of my Ancient Runes class. I did share the class with Lilly, but we had lots of work to do. She wouldn't have time to interrogate me.

I moved through the halls, and somehow ran into Severus. I frowned at him. "I have to get to class."

He said, "Nice to see you too."

"I don't really want to talk to you."

"And why is that?"

"Maybe it has something to do with the fact that we aren't friends, and maybe it has something to do with what you called Lilly."

He frowned. "I apologised and she forgave me for that."

"She might have, but it doesn't change that you did it."

"Hey, do treat me like you know anything about me."

"Then why are you trying to act like we are best friends suddenly?"

"Because I like you. I always have."

"I don't have time for this?"

"Are you too busy trying to fix your dwindling relationship with that mutt?"

"I am trying to get to class." I tried to push past him but he trapped me against the wall.

"Just forget about him." He leant closer. "I can keep him from your mind."

"Severus, leave me alone."

He smiled and grabbed my face. "I won't run away from you. Not like he has." He leant closer and kissed me on the lips.

I froze for a moment, before I shoved him away. "Don't ever do that again." I wiped my lips and ran off. _What on earth was wrong with him?_

As I moved down the hall way I spotted Sirius. He glared at me, shook his head and took off. Had he seen Severus kiss me? _FUCK!_ Everything was going to hell.


	5. Chapter 5: One Step Closer to the Edge

**Chapter 5: One Step Closer to the Edge**

I woke up late the next morning. The room was empty, and everyone's beds were made. Looking at the time, I had twenty minutes to get down to the great hall for breakfast before I had to be at my transfiguration class. No one had bothered to wake me up. Either no one noticed that I had slept in, or they thought I could use the extra sleep.

I made a dash out of the common room and through the halls. My bag was falling from my shoulder, as I tucked in my shirt, and tried to tie my tie. I got to the great hall looking like a complete mess. I spotted Lilly and walked over to sit beside her. I dropped down and she looked at me surprised.

"What happened to you?" she asked.

I sighed. "I slept in."

She laughed. "I don't think you have done that once. Like…every."

I frowned. "No, I haven't."

"I wish I had a camera."

I nudged her shoulder. "Don't be mean." I reached to grab a piece of toast. I hadn't even noticed as I sat down that Sirius was sitting beside James across the table. He was glaring at me. No one else seemed to notice though.

I buttered my toast and tried to ignore him. Giving him space was the plan, hoping he wouldn't get angry at me even more than he was, but sitting right across from me wasn't a great idea. I continued to talk to Lilly, and James, but felt awkward. Sirius didn't say a single word.

When breakfast was over, Sirius seemed to run out of the hall claiming he had left something in his room. I sat there for a moment before deciding that I had to try to talk to him again. I needed clarification so that I could fix things. I left the hall and headed back to the common room. I hoped he had gone back there.

I stepped through the door and listened. It was quiet, every student was on their way to classes. I walked upstairs to our shared room and almost smiled when I found him sitting on his bed. I cleared my throat.

He glared at me as he looked up. "What?"

"Can we talk?" I asked.

"About what?" He looked away.

I said, "I think you know."

He shook his head. "I don't really want to discuss this again."

"We need too."

"No, we don't," he snapped.

"Sirius, I need you to explain to me what is going on."

"I think I have explained myself enough."

"No, you haven't. I'm so confused. I really don't understand what is going on in that brain of yours."

"What do you want me to say? Moony wants me as his mate. It isn't your fault. I think everything is covered."

"I told you that I am trying to fix it. I sent a letter to Alexander. He might be able to find something that I haven't."

"You friend Alexander isn't going to fix every little problem you have. Try and fix your problems yourself for once."

"I am trying to fix it."

"No, you are trying to find a way out of fixing it. You are just thinking about what you want."

"I am not. All I am doing is thinking about you."

"No, you are thinking about yourself." He stood up and walked passed me.

I turned and chased him. "Would you stop running away?"

"Does it look like I'm running?"

"Don't use that sarcasm on me."

"You're not my mother. Don't tell me what to do."

"No, I'm not your mother. I'm your best friend."

He stopped and turned back around. The glare on his face clouded his eyes. I couldn't tell what he was feeling. "We aren't friends."

The words hurt. I never thought that he would say something like that. I didn't know what to say or do, so I just stood there.

He leant forward. "Just leave me alone." He turned and walked away.

Everything was over.

* * *

I didn't end up going to class. I skipped them all for the whole day. Instead I walked down and sat by the lake. I sat there all day. The cold crept in and I didn't even notice. My stomach growled and I ignored it. I wanted everything to just go away.

As the sun began to sink, it looked beautiful. The colours of pink, red and yellow, made it seem like a dream. I didn't take my eyes off it until disappeared and the moon's light sparkled against the lake.

It didn't take my mind of him though. I kept waiting for Sirius to show up. He would sit down beside me, forgive me, and tell me everything was going to be okay. Everything that happened didn't matter. But it was stupid. It wasn't going to happen. Sirius was angry. I had never seen him like it before. The person he seemed to hate the most was his family, but I felt like I had now joined his family. He would never speak to me again.

I could feel Moony inside as everything sunk in. He was just as sad as I was. His emotions weighed heavily on my own, and I wanted to try and fix it. I asked him to change his mind, but I could feel him saying that Sirius was the one for him. The one for us.

Lilly was the one who found me. She was rugged up and held a blanket in her arms. She sat down beside me and wrapped the blanket around me. I smiled at her. The best thing about her was that she didn't ask questions. Her arms wrapped around one of mine and we just sat there.

"Whatever is going on," she said, "it will get better."

I wanted to believe her.

"You just need to trust that everything will work itself out."

I hoped she was right.

"You can lean on me, on James, and Peter. You and Sirius just need to remember that you aren't alone."

I smiled and felt tears in my eyes. I leant my head-on top of hers. "Thank you, Lilly."

She smiled. "No worries." She squeezed my arm. "And if you need me to beat up Sirius, then I am more than happy too."

I laughed. "It isn't really his fault."

She snorted. "I highly doubt that. Who could ever be mad at you?"

"It's my fault."

She shook her head. "Don't blame yourself."

I took a deep breath to try and stop the tears. "It's not that easy."

We sat for a long time. It wasn't until I felt her shiver, that we stood and left. We wandered back to the common room. She didn't need to free because of me, and I needed something to eat before my stomach ate me.


	6. Chapter 6: I Hate This Life

**Chapter 6: I Hate This Life**

Sirius had been avoiding me for over a week, and it wasn't just Moony who was getting annoyed or missing him. I missed my best friend. I missed our conversations. His laugh and smile. I missed everything we shared. Considering we shared a room he had already mastered how to make sure we couldn't talk. In the morning, he would either be up and out of the room before I was, or he would stay in bed until I was gone. He would make sure that he was in conversations with someone every time we crossed paths. In classes, he changed seats with Peter, or another Gryffindor. And at night, he was either asleep or not in the room. I felt like I hadn't seen him at all.

James and Peter were becoming frustrated about our 'argument'. They had flat out told us that they weren't taking sides, and made effort to hang out with both of us. But, if James asked me to join them, Sirius would suddenly have something better to do. Lilly had even pitched in to try and trap us in the same room. Sirius always managed to get away though.

I had decided as I woke up one morning, and seeing his black hair disappear out the door, that I would just leave him be. Time and space would hopefully give him what he needed, and when he was ready he would talk with me. I told my friends all of this, and began to change everything. I didn't make eye contact with him. I sat with different people in class, and sat with Lilly and a few of her other friends at meals. I spent all my studying time in the library, a place I would never see Sirius. And when James and Peter tried to include me, I would remind them what I had said and declined.

On one Saturday, I spent most of my morning sitting in the library. Books surrounded me, as I finished the last few bits of homework. He only had to finish off his potions essay and then he would be free. What he planned to do, he didn't know. He knew that Sirius had dragged James and Peter to Hogsmeade. James, as always, had tried to include me, but I declined. I had the whole afternoon to do whatever I wanted, but didn't know what to do.

As I finished the conclusion of my essay, a person interrupted me by clearing their throat. I wrote the last sentence, and then looked up. Severus stood there with a smile, that appeared more like a smirk, across his face. He looked down at my assignment and frowned. "Finished already?"

I nodded. "Now I don't have to worry about it."

"But it isn't due until Thursday."

I shrugged. I snapped my books closed and pulled my wand from my pocket. With a wave the books took flight off the table and flew in every direction to return to their original positions.

"So," he said, "how is your plan working with Black?"

I frowned. Severus seemed to be sticking his nose into every bit of my life. Ever since he had kissed me, he appeared everywhere I went. Asking him to leave me alone, had only encouraged me to annoy me even more.

I looked away from him. "That has nothing to do with you."

"Maybe not, but I'm curious." He lent forward.

"Curiosity killed the cat."

"Keep the muggle clichés to yourself."

"Just because it's a muggle saying and a cliché, doesn't mean it isn't true."

"Whatever." He sat on the edge of the table, and lent even closer. "But, may I make a suggestion?"

"No." I pushed my chair back and stood.

"Why don't you just grab the mutt, force him against a wall, a bed, or couch—whatever you prefer—and have your way with him."

Moony howled inside me. He liked Severus's idea. And with the images that flashed in my mind of Sirius in said positions only made me hard. "Great idea, I'll just go do that, shall I?"

"Can I watch?"

I wanted to smack him. "Get lost, Severus." I shoved my books into my bag and pushed passed him. I made my way towards the Gryffindor common room, the one place he couldn't get to me.

I was walking past the first floors bathrooms when Severus grabbed me and dragged me into a stall. He locked the door and pushed me against the wall. I shoved at his chest. "Just leave me alone."

He shook his head. "I think you have a problem that you need help with."

"I don't need your help."

"Are you sure?" He rubbed his hand against my hard crotch.

I smacked his hand away. "Fuck off, Severus."

"Why don't we take Alexander's advice?" He smirked, and pushed himself against.

I was going to kill him. Moony was growling on the inside, not wanting anyone to touch us expect Sirius. My blood was boiling though. He had the audacity to read my private mail, and try to have sex with me. I clenched my fist and made sure it connected with his jaw.

His head snapped backwards and he fell against the toilet.

I unlocked the stall and stepped out of it. "Stay…the fuck…away from me." I ran out of the bathroom and moved as quickly as I could back to the common room. A few students gave me weird glances, but I just didn't care.

Once inside the safety of my bedroom I dropped to the floor. I pulled my knees to my chest and buried my face in them. Everything was turning to shit. Why couldn't I just work everything out with Sirius?

Like someone was trying to grant my wish, Sirius barrelled into the room. He didn't spot me straight away but had a real smile on his face. He stumbled sideways and let out a loud laugh. I pushed myself to stand, but as I went to say his name, a girl I had never seen before came in after him.

The girl spotted me and blushed. "I thought you said we would be alone."

Sirius looked at me and frowned. "I thought we would be."

"Yeah, well…" I didn't know what to say. He had brought back some random girl to our room. "Find somewhere else." I crossed my arms over my chest and sat down on my bed. I didn't look a Sirius for his reaction, and it didn't take them long to leave.

Tears gather in my eyes, and I just sat there, and let them fall. I hated my life.

* * *

I returned to my room after dinner. James had told me that him and Lilly were sneaking off for some alone time. Peter had disappeared, and I had no idea what Sirius was doing. I expected to spend my night alone.

I dressed for bed and pulled out one of my favourite books from my trunk. It was the best I read when I was feeling lonely or sad. Somehow it always managed to cheer me up.

The door to our room opened and Sirius walked in. He spotted me and frowned. He threw his bag on the floor beside his bed and dropped down on top of it. He covered his face with his hands and groaned.

I was getting annoyed with his attitude. I wish he would just tell me that he hated me so that I could move on with my life.

He let out another groan.

I sat up and snapped my book shut. "If my presence is so annoying why do you go somewhere else?"

"Because that would require energy, which I have none of." He didn't look up at me.

They were the first words he had spoken to me since our argument and they were void of another sort of emotion.

"Well, find some. Your moaning and groaning is distracting." I didn't mean to give him attitude. But I was angry. Angry that he was angry at me.

"Oh no, someone is annoying poor Remus." He sat up and glared at me. "What are you going to do? Turn into a werewolf and rip me to pieces?"

The idea of me hurting anyone, let alone Sirius, made me feel sick. I turned away from him and looked down at my lap.

"What? Got nothing to say, wolf boy?" He was being an ass on purpose.

I placed my book on my side table and reached up to draw my curtains. He glared at me, but I couldn't return it. I simply shut the curtains and curled up beneath my blankets.

I heard him scoff. "Didn't think so."

The tears fell from my eyes. I didn't understand, and I wished I could. Why did he hate me? I tried to convince myself that he just needed more time. The more time that I give him, the better it would all get. I just had to wait.


	7. Chapter 7: Injury and Insult

**Chapter 7: Injury and Insult**

Nothing.

I had heard nothing from Sirius. Giving him time only just seemed to make the divide between us grow and turn into a chasm. Everything just seemed to be going wrong. I been spending most of my time alone, until Severus would interrupt my quiet, or Lilly would try once again to get me to fix things with Sirius.

James and Pete were also annoyed that. They didn't understand what had driven Sirius and I apart, and seeing Severus sitting beside me, made them that angrier.

What hurt the most was to see a certain Hufflepuff girl hanging around, half attached to Sirius. Her name, Lavender Grey. She was in her 6th year, but she had never spoken to anyone of us before now. I would see her walking down the corridors with Sirius. Her hands holding on to his upper arm, leaning in to whisper something into his ear. I had even turned down certain corridors to find them lip locked. It made me feel sick. And it only made me what to hide under my covers and never come out.

Two weeks after Lavender Grey appeared attached to Sirius, a full moon appeared. I spent the day feeling irritable, and craving something meaty and bloody. And by the time I headed down to the Shrieking Shack, I knew I was going to spend the night alone.

I walked down the corridors, and avoided other students. My teachers knew, and only gave me a small smile as I walked passed them. I tried to relax as I stood in the Shrieking Shack. It was quiet, and lonely.

Looking out the window, the moon was beginning to creep up. It was almost time. I removed my clothes, and placed them in a bag in the corner, just as my first bone cracked. I gasped and stumbled sideways. Using the wall to hold me up, I looked out the window and felt the pull of the moon, as the light shone through the window and touched my skin. My right arm snapped and twisted. The pain grew and grew. More bones twisted, broke, and reformed into the shape of the wolf. My skull began to expand and I screamed in agony. I could feel as my skirt burst open and fur slid over covering every inch of my body. I dropped to the ground and let out another scream. The scream turned into an ice chilling howl and the Shrieking Shack seemed to shiver.

Looking at the world with Moony's eyes was certainly an experience. Everything seemed more detailed, and more beautiful. I stretched out my limbs and listened as the cracked. The pain still lingered in my body but it would soon fade.

I made my way out of the Shrieking Shack and into the forest that surrounded it. I moved slowly around, and almost pouted when all the animal ran in the opposite direction of me. Normally Sirius, James and Pete would keep me company. We played silly games, and had fun. But I was back to being alone.

As I wandered along I caught a scent of something that I had never smelt before. It was odd but almost familiar. I followed the scent and it led me to another wolf. It turned to me, catching my scent, and growled at me. It snapped my direction, clearly it felt threatened. I took a few steps backwards, to show that I wasn't a threat but it didn't care.

With every step back I took, it took two forward. It continued to growl and snap. I returned the growl when it got to close. Another growl caught my surprise. To its left, another wolf appeared; and then another, and another. I hadn't stumbled on some lone wolf, I had found a pack.

I knew I was outnumbered and only had one option. I ran.

I pushed myself as fast as I could, and could feel the ground shaking as the lot of them chased after me. The growled and snapped at my heels, and I could feel their breathe on me. I tripped and stumbled, but made it through the Hogwarts barrier. I laid on the ground, trying to catch my breathe. The pack jumped, hissed and growled. They couldn't get through, I was safe on Hogwarts grounds.

One wolf pushed its way through to the front of the pack. He was bigger than the others, and he seemed meaner. On the top of his right arm was a half crescent moon burn mark. It was the mark of an alpha. This was their leader.

Alexander had explained how werewolf packs worked. The alpha was decided by strength. You could inherit it, or be chosen. You had to kill for it. And if a member of the pack went against your orders or challenge you in anyway, then they had to die. Being in charge meant killing lots of people. Looking at this alpha, I could just imagine how many lives he had taken. He was covered in scars all over. He had spent his whole life fighting. Alexander had also told me that if a lone wolf stumbles upon another packs territory than the wolf would most likely die.

I had grown up running through the woods in and outside of Hogwarts' borders, and had never run into any sort of pack. This pack had to be new to the area. But why would they come so close a school, and a town. Alexander had assured me that most packs liked to hide away, not be where they could become exposed.

I shifted further away from the barrier as the alpha slammed himself against it. He barred his teeth, and smashed his front paws down. He was warning me. Stay away. The alpha turned away, and began to walk away. They were leaving me be.

I pushed myself up on my weak legs, and moved in the direction of the Shrieking Shack when I heard a low whistle, like something was flying through the air, and then a sharp pain in my side. I dropped to the ground again and looked at my side. It was a piece of wood, a branch or something that had been snapped from a tree. It had embedded itself deeply into my stomach. I looked up and the alpha was watching me.

I used my arms to push myself up, and stumbled away from him. I didn't know if I was going in the direction of the Shrieking Shack, or towards the school; I just wanted to get away from the pack.

Blood dripped down from my wound, and I could feel myself becoming weak. I just needed to find someone. Anyone would could help me.

I tripped and fell to the ground. I cried out at the pain. Closing my eyes, I couldn't hold on anymore. I let the darkness consume me.

* * *

I woke up in the infirmary. The sun was shining through the window, and the piece of wood was gone from my side. My whole body ached from head to toe, and I could feel the bruises that were still forming. I stretched out my body, and instantly regretted it, when a sharp pain shot up my side. I lifted the blanket and looked down at the bandage that wrapped itself around my stomach. _Had it been that bad?_

I tried to sit up, but was gently pushed back down. I looked up to see Sirius sitting on a chair beside my bed. Concern and sadness clouded his normally cheerful face. I smiled at him, and grasped his hand. I didn't want him running away.

"Afternoon sunshine," he said. A smile touched his lips but it didn't reach his eyes.

I squeezed his hand. "Hi." I felt shy. Like I was talking to my crush, and was embarrassed and worried that I was say the wrong thing.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

I sighed. "Sore."

He said, "The nurse said that you will be fine in a few days. Helps that you have super-wolf healing abilities."

"I guess so." I nodded.

He asked, "What happened to you?"

"I ran into a pack of werewolves. They chased me back to the border. All my bumps and bruises is from me falling over, trying to get back to the Shrieking Shack."

"What about the big old hole in your gut?" He looked down to where my blanket covered my bandage.

"The alpha of the pack, threw a tree branch at me. Well, I assume it was him."

"Why would you go out so far on your own?"

"I went no further than we have ever gone. The pack must be new to the area and are running around staking their claim."

Sirius stood up from his chair and crossed his arms. "And why were you alone? How come James and Peter weren't with you?"

I shrugged. "I assumed that none of you wanted to come. It isn't like there is much of a friendship between us now."

He sighed. "Just because you and I are having some issues, doesn't mean James and Peter shouldn't show up. A full moon is when you need us the most."

"Issues, huh." I wanted to laugh. I didn't even know why we were fighting exactly.

"I don't want to have this discussion now." Sirius rubbed his face.

I frowned at him. "We haven't even had a discussion to begin with. I don't know what I have done to make you hate me so much. It isn't my choice that Moony decided you were the one. He made the decision. Blame him, don't blame me."

Sirius raised his voice. "That is the problem though."

"What do you mean?" I snapped.

Sirius grabbed his hair and stomped his foot, like a child. "I'm angry at you because you are saying that it is all Moony. You tell me that it's his decision and that your feelings don't matter. Moony wants me to be his mate; he wants me, needs me. But you don't." He began to pace, back and forth, beside my bed. "Isn't that why you didn't want to tell me about it? Because the idea of me being your mate was ridiculous, and you didn't want me. And I hate myself because when I really thought about it, you and me, I realised that it makes perfect sense. I have been in love with you for who knows how long-"

"You love me?" I interrupted his rant.

Sirius blushed, and he tried to slow his breathing. Tears were filling his eyes. "Yes," he said. A tear slipped down his cheek.

He wanted to be with me? I reached out and took his hand. I pulled him down onto my bed and leant close to him. I cupped his face in my hands; and looked into his grey eyes, they were filled with sadness.

"I love you, so much."

I pulled his face to mine and kissed his lips. It was simple, and perfect. His lips moved perfectly with mine, and I couldn't help but want more. But we had a lot to talk about before we got too carried away.

I pulled back, and said, "I love you too."

He smiled and kissed me again.

* * *

We sat on my bed in the infirmary for some time. He explained everything from his side and I did the same. Miscommunication. That was all it was. He thought that I didn't want him, and if anything were to happen it would only be because of Moony's desires, and not my own. But lying with him, our arms and legs intertwined, I forgot about everything. Moony was humming with happiness, and I could barely keep my hands off him. Not that he complained.

"When you get out of here," said Sirius, "we can go on a date. I'm sure there is somewhere in Hogsmeade that we can go."

I smiled. "Sounds like a plan." I reached up to peck his lips.

"What are we going to tell everyone?" he asked.

"I don't care. As long as everyone knows that you are mine." I tightened my grip around his waist and nuzzled my face into his neck.

I could hear the smirk on his face. "And that you are mine," he added.

Our bliss was interrupted by Severus. He said, "Don't you two look comfortable."

I looked up and over Sirius's shoulder to see him standing there. Arms crosses, and a pure look of hatred pointed at Sirius. "What are you doing here?" I asked.

He said, "Just coming to check on you. Make sure that you were still alive."

"He's fine." Sirius glared at him.

I poked Sirius's chest. "I'm fine, thank you."

He smiled at me. "You certainly look a lot brighter. Good thing I found you when I did."

"You found me?" I was surprised. I had assumed a teacher or Sirius had found me.

He nodded. "Yeah. Not far from Hagrid's Hut. You were naked and had a piece of wood sticking out of your side. I thought you were dead, but once I noticed that you were breathing, I got Hagrid and he went to get help."

"Thank you, for your help." I offered him a polite smile.

He smirked. "You are welcome. What happened to you though? No one seems to know."

Sirius tighter his grip on me. "None of your business."

I nudged Sirius again. "It's hard to explain."

He nodded "Perhaps you can find a way to explain someday."

"Maybe," I said.

The nurse stepped into the room. "Alright, everyone out. Mr Lupin needs his rest."

Severus nodded. "I'll see you around, Remus." He turned and walked out.

Sirius sat up to leave, but I grabbed his arm. "Can Sirius stay, please?"

The nurse frowned, but nodded. "As long as you get some sleep."

"I will."

Sirius laid back down, and we returned to our original position. He kissed my head, and I closed my eyes. Drifting off to sleep in Sirius's arms was better than I imagined. And I slept better than I ever had.


	8. Chapter 8: A Much Needed Conversation

**Chapter 8: A Much Needed Conversation**

I woke up the sun shining it my face. It was going to be a beautiful day. It had been a few days since the full moon and I was ready to get back to normality. Stretching out, my body cracked and I gasped in pain as I moved. I had forgotten about my wound. Lifting my shirt to examine it, it wasn't wrapped in a large bandage like I thought. It was simply covered by a dressing, no bigger than a goal ball. It would be gone in a day or two, thanks to my wolf healing, but it still bloody hurt.

Staying in my bed, I looked around the room and couldn't see Sirius. I had felt him leave some hours ago, but had been too exhausted to stop him. All I could do was wait for him to come back.

I didn't have to wait long. Sirius returned with James and Pete. All of them smiled as they saw that I was awake. I shifted in my bed and allowed room for Sirius. I wrapped my arms around my waist, and made myself comfortable.

James and Pete looked at us confused. Sirius clearly hadn't updated them on everything that had happen.

"I will explain later," said Sirius. "It is a long story."

"Okay," they both said.

"We are so sorry that we didn't show up at the Shrieking Shack," said Pete.

James nodded. "I actually forget. It wasn't till Sirius brought it up that I remembered."

"I don't blame you," I said, "If you were there, I think we all would have ended up in here."

"What happened though? Who attacked you?" asked Pete.

I shrugged. "It was a werewolf pack. I've never seen them before. I'm assuming that Professor Dumbledore will sort everything out." I snuggled into Sirius's lap.

"Well, we will leave you two alone," said James. "You rest up, and we will come see you later."

"Thanks for stopping by," I said.

Sirius stayed with me. He didn't have class for at least an hour and said he would stay and have breakfast with me. A house elf appeared with a tray food, enough for the both of us, we happily ate facing one another, until every bit was gone.

Sirius placed the tray on the ground and moved to lay down beside me. I wrapped my arms around him, and Moony hummed with happiness as Sirius nuzzled his face into my chest.

We stayed like that for some time. I ran my fingers through his hair, and he gently hummed. He looked so peaceful as he lay in my arms, our legs entangled together. He turned his face to look up at me. He asked, "What happened between you and Snape?"

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Nothing." He looked away.

I pulled his chin up with my finger. "What did he say?" I asked.

He sighed. "He told me that he found it amusing that I was getting his sloppy leftovers."

I wanted to hit Snape. Knocking the stupid asses smirk off his face would make me extremely happy. "He is an absolute asshole."

"Did something happen between you two?" Sirius's grip tightened around me. Almost like he was afraid to let go.

"Nothing that I wanted to happen."

"He forced himself on you?" Sirius head shot up.

"Sort of. He kissed me, twice. And he tried to go down on me."

Sirius face turned red.

"I shoved him off me though."

"I'm going to kill him." Sirius sat up and began to climb off the bed.

I grabbed his arm, and pulled him back down. "Please don't." I trapped him beneath me, holding him down. "I agree that he is a complete asshole, and he needs to be taken down a notch. But if you killed him then I would be spending a lot of nights alone with you being locked up in Askaban."

"I guess I can't let that happen."

"No, you can't." I pulled his face up to mine and kissed him softly.

Our slow kisses were interrupted by the nurse, who chased Sirius away, sending him to class. I waved and laughed as he ran out of the infirmary. I laid down in my bed and turned to face the window. The sun was shining and I could hear birds outside. It didn't take me long to drift off to sleep.

* * *

I was woken later that day by the nurse, as it was time for a few more potions. Sitting in my bed I swallowed the terrible tasking liquids, and then she gave me a lolly to get rid of the taste. As I sucked on my lolly, I looked at the time. Final classes of the day would be over soon, and Sirius would hopefully join him for dinner.

The door to the infirmary creaked open. I looked up expecting Sirius or James, or Pete, but it was Severus. I frowned at him.

He walked towards me, and said, "How are you feeling?"

"Much better, thank you." I turned away from him.

"I came to check on you this morning, but I saw you with the mutt. I didn't want to interrupt you."

"We were having some much-needed conversation." I fiddled with the blanket over me for a moment. "He mentioned the conversation that you two had."

Severus frowned. "I didn't say anything that wasn't true."

"It was completely untrue. I was never with you Severus. If anything, you forced yourself on me. I didn't ever want you to kiss me, or get me off, in any sort of way; and I never will."

"But-"

"No, buts. The only thing that was possible was friendship, but you have fucked that up."

"But-"

"Now, if you would please leave me alone. I want to go back to sleep."

Severus stood frozen for a minute. He was clearly shocked by what I had said. He slowly turned and left. I glared at his back. The nerve of some people.

Lying back down, I looked out the window and waited for Sirius to come back. I fell asleep again, and woke up happy to feel warm arms wrapped around my body. I wiggled and turned over so that I was facing him.

His warm lips touched my forehead, and I smiled at the contact. I snuggled further into his arms, and said, "Hi."

"Hi." He gently kissed my head again.

"Have you been here long?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Not really."

"Were you watching me sleep?"

He moved his lips to my cheek. "Yep. And listening to you talk?"

"What?" I looked up worried.

"Didn't you know that you talk in your sleep?" he asked.

I shook my head. "No."

"Well, you do." He laughed. "And hearing you moan my name was a very pleasant surprised."

"Oh god." I blushed and buried my face into his chest.

He laughed again. "Were you having a good dream?" He pulled my chin up, so I looked him in the eye.

"A very good dream." I smiled. We had been lying in some grassy field, making out, and with every touch his set my whole body on fire. It had felt amazing.

He whispered, "Why don't you show me just how good it was?"

I lifted myself up, and rolled him onto his back. I kissed his lips softly. "That sounds like a very…" I kissed his cheek. "Very…" I slid my hands down his chest, and under his shirt. "Good plan."

He slid his hand behind my head and pulled my lips to his. I moaned against his mouth, and he rubbed his tongue against my lips, begging for entrance. I opened my mouth and wrapped my tongue around his. I used my hands to slowly unbutton his shirt, and reveal his smooth stomach. I ran my fingers along his curves, and played and pinch his nipples. He gasped in my mouth.

"Mr Lupin…Oh my god!"

I pulled away from Sirius to see the nurse standing there were her hands covering her eyes. Her face completely red, and it was clear she hadn't expected us to be like this.

I slipped off Sirius and pulled his shirt closed with one hand.

"I'm sorry to interrupt you too." She looked down at the chart in her hand.

I bit my lip, and felt sorry for her. "No, I'm sorry."

Without looking at either of us, she said, "If I could just give you one last check over, then you can go back to your common room tonight."

"Really?" I smiled. I could spend the night in my own bed.

"Um…yes."

Sirius climbed from my bed fixed his shirt and tried to hide his hard member from view, but his tight school pants made it almost impossible. The nurse gave me a once over and released me. I pulled on some spare clothes that Sirius had brought down, and we walked hand in hand out of the infirmary.

As we moved towards the Gryffindor common room, Sirius slid his hand around my waist, and under my shirt. "Shall we find a quiet space to finish what we started?" he asked.

I kissed the side of his mouth, and nodded. "Yes, lets."


	9. Chapter 9: Come Away With Me

**Chapter 9: Come Away with Me**

The first term of the month seemed to fly by, and before any of us knew it the Christmas holidays arrived. The grounds were covered in snow, and every student was rugged up from head to toe. It gave me a perfect reason to be as close to Sirius as possible, even if the common rooms and classrooms were warmed by charms.

It had been an amazing few weeks with Sirius. It sounded cliché, but we clicked. Everything seemed to fit together, and there was certainly nothing to complain about. The whole school knew, and no one had outright complained or caused any issue. No one seemed to mind that we were together. A few Slytherin's were constantly trying to stir up trouble, but they always were. Their snide comments about us being gay didn't bother us in the slightest. We were too wrapped up in our own world.

Most nights we spent curled up in either his or my bed. Sirius had told me that he couldn't imagine sleeping without me in his arms. Again cliché, and completely corny, but it made me melt inside.

We also never saw the pack again. There was no second attack, and we made sure to stay close to the Shrieking Shack, just in case. But with everything going on we had yet to complete our bond. I wasn't personally in a rush to speed up our relationship, and Sirius didn't seem to be either. It was Moony, who was screaming in my head to take him and fuck him until he couldn't walk.

But with holidays coming up, there were plans to be made, and presents to buy. I had found a present for everyone except Sirius. Every year I had trouble trying to figure out what to get him, but this year it seemed even harder. I still had two weeks, but the days were slipping by quickly.

I did have plans to visit my father for a week, but I didn't know how I would handle being away from Sirius. Moony had a fit if we didn't see him for a few hours, when I went to the library to study, how he would deal being away from Sirius for a full week, I didn't know. The only solution I could think of was for Sirius to come with me to see my father. James' parents were going away some place James refused to go, so he was staying at Hogwarts. Normally Sirius would go wherever James went, but if James was staying did that mean that Sirius would want to as well? I didn't want to leave James alone in Hogwarts for Christmas.

But as I sat in D.A.D.A with Sirius beside me, our knees touching, his hand on my thigh as we listened to our professor go on and on about some theory; Moony was pushing me to ask him, so I did. I tore a page from my book and scribbled him a note. 'Do you know what everyone is doing for Christmas?' I slid him the note.

He took it from me. 'Pete is going to see his family. James is staying here, and so is Lilly. I guess I'll be third wheeling all week.'

I smiled at the note. It couldn't be more perfect. 'What if you came with me to visit my dad?'

Sirius face lit up as he read the note. 'Are you sure your dad won't mind?'

'No,' I wrote. 'He likes you. And I already told him that we are dating. He approves.'

'I'm glad. And count me in.'

I smiled and leant my head on his shoulder.

He gently kissed the top of my head, and whispered, "I'll go wherever you go."

I couldn't stop the blush that spread across my cheeks.

Class finished and we packed up our stuff. I slung my bag over my shoulder, as Sirius flung his arm around me and pulled me close. He pecked the side of my head. "You sure you dad won't mind?"

I nodded. "He would love the extra company."

"Good, I can't wait." He smiled.

"Plus," I said. "We don't have a spare bedroom, so the only place for you to sleep is with me." I lowered my voice to a whisper. "And my bed at home is a lot more comfortable, and has more room for activities than here." I kissed his cheek softly.

He caught my lips with his and pushed me to the side of the hallway. Students walked passed us, but we didn't care. I wrapped my arms his neck, and couldn't help but smile.

He pulled back when we needed air, and said, "Don't tease me."

I kissed him again. "It's not teasing, if I intent to do it.'

Sirius groaned and pulled my body as close to his as possible. "What do you say that we skip potions, and find a spare classroom?"

I smirked. It was so tempting.

"Mr Lupin and Mr Black."

Both of us froze and turned to see our potions professor standing there.

Professor Slughorn frowned. "I believe you are both meant to be heading to my potions class, are you not?"

I nodded. "Yes, sir. We were on our way."

"Good. I would hate it if you were late." He turned and continued towards the dungeons.

Sirius dropped his head onto my shoulder. "Cock blocking asshole."

I laughed and kissed his cheek. "Come on, we will be late."

"I don't care," Sirius moaned.

I grabbed his hand and dragged him to class.

* * *

The day ended and I was lying on my bed with my homework open in front of me. Sirius had been dragged off by James and Pete, for some important prank, and had left me with some peace and quiet. Moony had moaned after Sirius leaving, but had shut up once he realised I wasn't going to chase after him. I had finished two subjects and was working on my runes homework. Finishing it, would give me more time to spend wrapped up in Sirius.

My peace was interrupted by the boys returning. All of them laughing except for Pete whose hair had turned a mix of pink, blue and green. He looked rather hilarious, and I couldn't help but laugh. Pete stormed into the bathroom, leaving us to our laughter.

Sirius walked over and dropped beside me on my head. He laid half on top of me, and smiled. "Hi," he said.

"Hi."

He leant forward and kissed me softly.

"You should have seen the look on Snape's face when those balloons popped, it was brilliant." James interrupted us with his loud laughter.

Sirius looked over and frowned at him.

James turned to us when he noticed we weren't laughing with him. "What?"

"James, go and find Lilly." Sirius's hand slid down my back to the bottom of my shirt.

"Why?" said James.

"Because we want to be alone," I said.

Sirius slipped his hand beneath my shirt, and sent shivers as his finger traced up my spine.

"Oh," said James. He walked towards the door. "Have fun," he said, and pulled the door shut.

Sirius smiled and pushed me onto my back. He leant down and kissed me, pushing our bodies together. He moved his hand from my back to my front, and slowly undid the buttons of my shirt. Once my chest was bare, he moved his lips from mine, down my neck to my chest. He left a trail of wet kisses, and didn't leave a single spot untouched. I could help but want him to go further down.

I gasped as his lips and hands slipped lower and lower. He smiled up at me and popped open my button and zip. The only thing that stood between his lips and my cock, were my thin boxers.

"May I?" he asked.

I looked down and his eyes were filled with hunger. There was no way I could deny him, and Moony was begging me to let him. "God, yes," I moaned out.

Sirius hooked my boxers with his finger and pulled them down. My semi-hard cock jumped out of its confinements. Sirius wrapped one hand around my base, and slowly moved his lips along my length.

I groaned and could feel myself growing harder. With every touch my body seemed to burn hot, I wanted—no needed more. More of Sirius. "More…" I said. I was close to begging him.

He licked up my whole length before wrapping his mouth around me. He slowly lowered himself and took in as much as he could take. His eyes connected with mine and I wanted to grab him, flip him over and fuck him until he couldn't move.

"Oh fuck!" I gasped.

He moved his head up and down at a painfully slow pace. His eyes never leaving mine.

I slipped my fingers into his hair and took a firm grip. I thrust my hips towards him, and he smiled at me.

He released me with my pop and kissed my length.

I whimpered. "Don't stop."

Sirius smirked. "Someone's desperate."

"Don't tease me, please." I tightened my grip on his hair, and he groaned.

He licked my length, and said, "It's not teasing if I intend to finish." He took me back into his mouth, and this time bobbed his head faster. With his tongue and his teeth moving along my sensitive cock, I was becoming a complete mess, desperate to find my release.

My hips seemed to move by themselves, and I couldn't hold back moaning out his name. I was so close, so close. "Sirius," I gasped. "I'm gonna-"

I exploded into his mouth.

And he swallowed every drop.

I released my grip on his hair and sagged against my bed. Covered in sweat, I felt high. The feeling of a sweet release.

Sirius climbed back up my body, leaving small kisses as he went. When he was face to face with me, he kissed me. I could taste the saltiness of my cum on his lips and tongue.

"How the fuck are you so talented at that?" I asked, never moving my lips from his.

He laughed. "You say that every time."

"Because every time you make me explode."

I nuzzled at his throat, and could feel his hard cock against my thigh. I slipped my hands around his hips, and nudged my fingers just inside his pants. "Your turn."

Sirius smiled and allowed me to push him onto his back.


	10. Chapter 10: Back with the Family

**Chapter 10: Back with the Family**

I sat snuggled into Sirius's shoulder as he and Peter talked about Quidditch. We had been on the Hogwarts Express for a few hours, and exhaustion from the full moon that had just past was weighing on me. It had been a rough full moon.

It had started out normal. I met Sirius, James and Peter at the Shrieking Shack; they waited outside while I transformed; and then we ran around the forest. I remembered nuzzling my nose against Sirius's neck, but then I was suddenly on my back, Sirius on top of me growling. I played it off as a momentary lapse of control of my wolf and the boys had let it go. But it happened three more times.

The third time I managed to trap Sirius beneath me. I growled at James and Peter when they stepped closer. According to James, I acted territorial. James dealt with the situation by head butting me and knocking me out. I had woken up in the Infirmary with Sirius by my bed. They all had questions but I just didn't know. Everything they said I did, I didn't remember doing.

I had written to Alexander and explained what had happened. He had written back and said that the only thing he could think of was that my wolf was claiming Sirius as our mate. Anyone he considered a potential threat was an enemy, even though he knew who James and Peter were. He also promised we could discuss it over the break.

I nuzzled my head against Sirius and he turned to look at me. He smiled softly and leant down to kiss my head. "Are you tired?" he asked.

I nodded. "Haven't slept properly since the full moon."

He frowned. "Are you still stressing about what happened?"

I nodded again.

"Don't. Nothing bad happened. Everyone is okay. I'm okay." He squeezed my hand.

"Yeah, but what if I had hurt you. Nothing would be okay then."

He sighed.

Peter sat quietly across from us. He looked awkward as he listened.

"Would you mind giving us a minute, Pete?" asked Sirius.

Peter just nodded his head and stepped outside of the compartment.

"These 'what if' situations that you are creating in your head is what is causing all the trouble. You need to let what happened go, and just focus on your normal life."

"Yeah, but-"

"And no 'buts' either." He pecked my lips.

I frowned. He always used his lips to shut me up.

"And besides, all of your attention should be on me." He smiled.

I kissed his lips again. I slipped one hand behind his head and pulled him closer. "You have my full attention."

He nibbled on my lip. "I'm glad." His hands slid around my back and pulled me onto her lap.

My knees fell either side of him. Our groins lined up perfectly. I slipped my fingers into his hair and held a tight grip. His fingers slid around my waist, playing with the bottom of my shirt. He smiled into the kiss, and pulled back to look at me.

"Why are we stopping?" I asked.

He kissed my lips again, but softly. It wasn't a kiss full of desire, but a kiss of love. It was meant for comfort, and affection. He gently stroked my cheek. "We kicked Peter out to have a conversation. Not so we could have fun."

I pouted. "He will survive."

Sirius laughed. "Yes, and so will you."

I slipped off his lap, but kept my arms wrapped around him.

"Plus," he said, "didn't you promise me a big and comfy bed, that has lots of room for our activities."

I could help but smile. "Yes, I believe I did."

He kissed me again.

The rest of the trip back to London consisted of chit chat and exploding snap. Sirius won every game, and somehow managed to convince Peter to bet money on every game. When the train finally pulled into Kings Cross, Sirius had managed to get a rather loud amount of change.

After collecting our trunks, we climbed off the train. I spotted my father standing towards the back. His tall frame allowing me to tower over everyone else. We waved goodbye to Peter, and with a firm grip on Sirius's hand, I led him to my dad.

Dad smiled and held out his arms. "Hey there, buddy."

I wrapped my arms around him. It was always hard leaving him alone every year. Without Mum, around to take care of him, I always worried what would happen. But every year he surprised me, and every year I would come home and he would be perfectly fine.

"Hey, Dad." I pulled back, and watch as Dad turned to Sirius.

Dad held out his hand and Sirius took it. The look on Dad's face said be careful, and Sirius looked a little concerned.

"Mr Lupin," he said.

"Black," was all Dad said.

I frowned. "Dad, don't be mean."

Dad's straight face cracked and turned back into a smile. He yanked Sirius towards him and hugged him, laughing as he did. "Oh, don't be such a worry wart, the both of you." He ruffled Sirius's hair. "I was only joking."

I wanted to frown at him, but his laughter had always been infectious. And the look of surprise on Sirius's face made it that much funnier. After a moment, Sirius joined in on the laughter, and slung his arm over my shoulders. "I like your dad," he said.

I smiled and kissed his cheek.

"Alright, you two love birds. Let's get going." Dad shrunk our trunks and slipped them into his pocket.

* * *

The home I had grown up in smelled like baking as we walked through the front door. It wasn't something I had experienced since Mum had died. But as the door shut behind us Aunt Debby, my brother's older sister, came running out of the kitchen.

She smiled and squealed in delight. "Oh, Remus! Look at you!" She hugged me tightly.

Debby was an unusual woman, as were all the Lupin's. She had the sandy blood hair that ran in the family, brown eyes, and had the height. She stood only a few inches shorter than Dad, who stood at 6'4. She also had the habit of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, foot in mouth disease, was what Mum had called it.

Pulling back, she looked Sirius up and down. "Is this tall drink of water the lucky man you snatched up?"

Sirius flashed her his dashing smile. "I am. My name is Sirius Black." He reached out and took her hand, placing a kiss on it. "It is a pleasure to meet you."

Debby blushed slightly. "Charmed, truly."

I shoved Sirius shoulder and he chuckled. "I'm being friendly."

"I don't mind," said Debby. She was now fanning herself with her hand.

I grabbed Sirius by the collar, and said, "I'm going to take him upstairs before he makes her faint."

Dad nodded.

Dragging Sirius upstairs, I gave him a quick tour, before showing him my bedroom. It wasn't the largest of rooms, but over the years I had managed to squish in a double bed that sat against the wall, beside it was a side table that had a stack of books and a lamp. My walls were covered in moving pictures of my family, me and Sirius, as well as James and Peter.

Sirius sat down on my bed and smiled. "It's just how I imagined it."

I stood in front of him. "Is that so?"

He nodded. "Except, something is missing."

"What?"

He grabbed my hand and pulled me onto the bed. He kissed me, and flipped us over so he was straddling my waist. "You," he said. "Naked, beneath me."

I moaned as he kissed me.

The door to my room opened and I shot up. My forehead collided with Sirius's, and I gasped in pain. Both of us rubbed our heads.

Debby stood in the doorway with a soft smile. "Sorry," she said.

I sighed. "Was there something you wanted?"

She nodded. "I made fresh cookies." She placed the plate on the end of my bed. "Help yourself, you forgot these." She placed down the miniature trunks. With a quick wave of her wand they grew. "I'll leave you two be."

Sirius snorted with laughter.

I frowned. "Your laughing now. Wait until Friday when you are blue-balled and horny because we get interrupted."

Sirius face fell. "Seriously?"

I shrugged. "No one in this family understands the concept of knocking."

"Well, I guess they better get ready for quiet the show." He wiggled his eyebrows and kissed me again. "Because there is no way I'm going to let a few members keep me from having my way with you."

I smiled. "Is that so?"

He nodded. Another kiss. "Yes."


	11. Chapter 11: Christmas Day

**Chapter 11: Christmas Day**

I woke up beside Sirius on Christmas morning. Our bodies were snuggled together; our legs intertwined and his arms wrapped around me. I snuggled my face below his chin, and breathed in his scent. Being wrapped in his arms was the most comfortable place I had ever been in. I could stay in my bed forever. I gently kissed his chest and ran my nose along his pecks. His body felt so smooth underneath my fingers.

Sirius stirred and his arms gently squeezed me.

I smiled, and leant up to kiss his chin. "Good morning."

His face lit up with his own smile. "Morning," he said. His voice was all croaky. He leant down and looked at me. Stroking me cheek, he kissed my lips. One hair cupped my cheek.

I moaned into his mouth, and allowed him to slip his tongue in. I moved my hands up and behind his neck, so I could pull myself up to his level. I rubbed my leg against his, and he groaned.

"I love having you against me," he said.

I said, "I love feeling how your body reacts to my touch." I rubbed his tongue with my own.

He moaned. "God, I love you."

My stomach fluttered every time he said those words. It also made Moony jump around inside. It made both of us just want him more.

He rolled us over and knelt between my legs. I could feel how hard he was as he pushed against me.

"I want you," he said.

I whimpered as he pushed his crotch harder against mine.

"I need you," he said.

He was driving me crazy.

The door to my room swung open, and both Dad and Debby sung out. They said, "Merry Christmas."

I froze in Sirius's arms. Again, seriously?

Sirius rolled off me and dropped onto his back, letting out a heft sigh as he did so.

I looked up and glared at my family. Debby had a rather bright blush across her cheeks and Dad didn't seemed fazed in the slightest. I grabbed my quilt over both of us, and Sirius chuckled.

"Get up you two," said Dad.

I held on tight to the quilt. "We were a little busy, Dad."

"You have your whole lives for that sort of thing," said Debby.

"She's right. Now hop to it." Dad tugged at the blanket.

"We have lots to do before Mark and the girls arrive," said Debby.

Sirius stuck his head out. "Give us ten minutes."

Dad must have agreed because the door clicked shut.

Sirius flung the quilt off us, and climbed back over me. He cupped the back on my head and pulled me in for a deep kiss. I moaned against his lips. He pulled me up, and held my body against his. He moved his lips to my cheek, and then my ear. "We have ten minutes."

I smiled. "Let's not waste them."

* * *

We made it downstairs just as Debby served breakfast. She loaded our plates with bacon, eggs, sausage, and many other delicious things. Mark and the girls were running late, so we dug in without them.

After enjoying breakfast together, we were banished from the kitchen and into the lounge. Debby's husband would be arriving soon with their kids, and so would George Lupin. My grandfather. He only ever spoke to Dad during Christmas and on his birthday. My grandfather had never accepted the fact that I was a werewolf, and so we had never had any sort of a relationship. He tended to ignore my existence.

I was sitting on the couch watching TV. Sirius was lying next to me, his head against my stomach, and he was hugging my arm that sat across his stomach. He was fixated on the crappy Christmas shows.

The doorbell rang and Debby ran out of the kitchen. She flung opened the door and smiled. "Hello darling," she said.

"Hi love," said a voice. It belonged to my uncle, Mark. He was Debby's second husband, and a wizard. They had met while Debby had travelled around America, and according to my aunt, it was love at first sight. When she married him she became a mum to his twin girls, Amelia and Lillian. Both cute as a button, but shy. It was hard to get anything out of them, except a hello and a goodbye.

Mark moved into the house and spotted me on the couch. He smiled. "Remus, good to see you." He held out his hand.

I reached out and took it. "You too."

He noticed Sirius.

"This is my boyfriend, Sirius." I flicked Sirius's ear to get his attention. He looked up, and frowned. "Sirius, this is Debby's husband, Mark."

Sirius jumped up. "Oh, sorry." He shook Mark's hand. "Pleasure to meet you."

"Boyfriend?" said Mark.

I nodded.

"Debby never said you had a boyfriend," he said.

"We only started dating this year."

"I only found out two weeks ago, dear." Debby appeared beside Mark. "Isn't he handsome though."

Sirius smiled. "Oh, Debby. You're too kind."

"Yes, she is." Mark tapped her on the nose.

"Don't worry, dear." Debby pecked Mark's cheek. "Sirius is completely in love with Remus. And there is no way that he could ever compete with you."

Mark smiled. "Good." He kissed her gently.

"Eww," cried Amelia and Lillian.

Debby giggled and pulled back from the kiss. She looked at the girls and knelt down. "Do you want a kiss too?" She made kissing noises at them.

The girls squealed and ran away. We all laughed as Debby chased after them.

Not long after Mark and the girls arrived some other family members showed up too. Debby seemed to invite everyone we were related to, much to Dad's dismay. Some were cousins, that I had never met and some I had. It was mostly awkward because my family, who never spoke to us, never knew how to act around me. Everyone knew what I was, it wasn't exactly a secret, and those who were disgusted by me stayed away from me. But there were those who didn't know what to say or act.

Sirius made things better for me, he made everyone who gave me a rude look feel uncomfortable, and rubbed it in their faces that not only was I a werewolf, but a gay one at that. We sat comfortably on the couch, our arms wrapped around one another. A stray kiss here or there kept the annoying family members away. We stayed with the kids and watched the Christmas specials on TV while the adults gossiped.

Closer to dinner, most of the family had slipped out the door. The only few that remained we Mark and Debby, and the girls. Maybe one or two cousins. Sirius and I had moved from the couch to the dining table, and we were discussing random things with Mark.

As Sirius told Mark another one of his dirty jokes, the doorbell rang. Dad stood and walked towards the door. I wondered who would possibly showing up this late. Dad opened the door and I could see how his body froze.

I frowned. "Dad, who is it?"

Dad didn't respond.

I stood from my chair and walked towards him. "Dad, who's here?" I grabbed his shoulder, and he stepped back. My mouth fell open in shock. "Grandfather." In front of us stood my grandfather, dad's own father. He had disowned Dad after I was turned into a werewolf. My grandfather had claimed that he wouldn't have a son who accepted a werewolf into the family. I hadn't seen him since I was twelve.

"Hello, Remus," he said.

Dad nudged me backwards and stood in front of me. "Don't you dare talk to him," he said.

"I wasn't here to see him anyway. There are some things we need to discuss."

"I have nothing to say to you."

"I have something that I need to say to you."

"You are 11 years too late."

"This has nothing to do with Remus and what he is."

"It has everything to do with it. You disowned me and him. Therefore, we have nothing to talk about."

"Lyall, enough." Debby moved past me and pushed Dad out of the way. She glared at both Dad and Grandfather. "This can wait. Today is not a day that families should be arguing on."

Dad looked at Debby. His face was locked with anger, but his eyes held his apology. "I'm not staying in the same room as this man." He turned and walked up the stairs. And a few seconds after his door slammed shut behind him.

I moved to go after him, but Sirius appeared beside me. He gently took my hand and squeezed it. "Give him some time," he said. He kissed my cheek.

I turned around to face Debby and Grandfather. Both of them were looking at us. Debby had a soft smile, her face trying to reassure me. Grandfather eyes were locked onto my hand that was intertwined with Sirius's.

"I think it would be best if you left," I said.

Grandfather looked up. "I still need to talk to your father."

"He doesn't want to talk to you. I think he made that clear."

"Once he cools off he will be fine. I will just wait down here for him." He moved to step inside.

"I did not invite you in. You will leave."

"Don't talk to me like that, you disrespectful disgrace."

His words hurt, but I kept my face neutral. I wasn't going to allow him to see how he affected me. "Get out."

He glared and turned away. "Fine. I wouldn't want to stay in the same house as the likes of you. Especially seeing that not only are you a werewolf, but a faggot at that." He turned back. "You couldn't have turned out anymore fucked up if you tried." With a pop, he disappeared.

I had never felt so angry and hurt. My heart felt like it was going to explode from being overwhelmed. Sirius gripped my hand and pulled me towards him. I let him wrap his arms around me, but it didn't calm me down. All I wanted to do was chase after that grumpy old fart and show him that I was no screw up.


	12. Chapter 12: After Dealing with Family

**Chapter 12: After Dealing with Family**

The rest of the evening was quiet. After I threw Grandfather out of the house, Debby had tried to talk to me but I wasn't in the mood. Sirius knew that I would need to digest the situation before talking. Debby left, with Mark and the girls, after trying to feed Dad and I dinner. But I could barely stomach what had happened, let alone any sort of food.

I sat on my bed with my legs up against my chest. I knew from the time I was little that Grandfather wished that I was dead. He believed that his grandson, the real Remus, had died that night that I was attacked. Even after Dad's attempts to make him see, the old man was too set in his ways to change. After everything, it was rare for him to contact us in anyway. He never wrote any letters, that I knew of, and he never just showed up.

I felt sorry for Debby more than myself. She was torn between her father and her brother. How was anyone meant to choose between family members? I had witnessed her attempts over the years to try and get Grandfather and Dad to talk, but getting them in the same room was hard enough.

After the few experiences, I have had with Grandfather over the years, I never complained about never having him around. And I wouldn't be bothered if I never saw him again.

The door to my room opened and Dad stood in the doorway. He smiled, but it looked awkward.

"Sorry that I stormed off before."

I shrugged. "I understand. I probably would have too."

"He just gets under my skin."

"I know."

"You would think that he would put the fact that I am his son, you are his grandson, before his insane ideas."

"Dad." I stood from my bed. "I know." I looked him in the eye and could see how hurt he really was. Through everything he had acted like the broken relationship between him and Grandfather didn't bother him, but it did. I can't imagine not having Dad in my life. I can't imagine him being disappointed in me, or hating me. I don't think I would be able to deal with it.

I hugged Dad. I held him close, and I could feel his body shaking. And the tears drip onto my head.

"I'm sorry," I said.

He squeezed me against him. "I don't blame you."

"I know."

He let me go and walked out of my room. I heard his own door click shut again. I sighed and sat back on the edge of my bed. I pulled off my shoes and pulled my shirt over my head. I needed a shower.

"Please, don't stop."

I turned to see Sirius. He was leaning against the doorframe, his eyes focused on my bare chest.

"See something you like?" I asked.

He smiled, and nodded. "Very much."

"Then why are you so far away?"

He moved closer to me. He sat right beside me and ran his fingers against my cheek. The care and affection in his eyes warmed me. He leant closer and gently placed his lips against mine.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

I didn't know what to say. Was I alright? I think so. "I'm more worried about Dad," I said.

He nodded. "He will be okay." His pressed his lips against mine again.

"I know he will be. Still doesn't stop me from worrying though."

"It's one of the things I love about you." His lips brushed my ear. "You are always worrying about everyone else, you never think about yourself." He nibbled my ear. "Your completely and utterly selfless."

"I don't always feel that way." I pulled his face to mine and kissed him. "Every full moon you, Prongs and Peter, all risk your lives and spend it with me."

"A risk that is completely worth it." He pushed me onto my back. "But right now, that isn't our concern." He slipped his hands down my body. "My only concern is making you fall apart." He cupped my cock, and wrapped his other hand around my back, pulling me against me.

"Oh god," I moaned.

"Not god, Sirius."

I smirked. "You may as well be."

"Talk about stroking my ego."

"As long as you continue stroking something else." I kissed his lips softly.

* * *

With only one day until it was time to return to Hogwarts, I wanted to spend the day with Dad. Sirius had told me he was going to occupy himself by exploring the local muggle shopping centre. He wanted to see what was so great about it. No doubt he would get in trouble. But I was focusing on Dad. I was going to make our day special, one that neither of us would forget.

I started it by making breakfast for us all. Pancakes, my mum's recipe, were Dad's favourite. After breakfast, Sirius slid out the door with a promise to behave and an 'I love you' following him.

Dad laughed at us both. "You act like more of a married couple."

I simply shrugged. It wasn't a bad thing.

Once we had cleaned up, which didn't take long with a swing of a wand, I dragged Dad from the house. First stop was mini-golf. The local mini-golf course was once a place we visited often. Dad and I always loved competing against one another, making a fool out of ourselves as we missed the easy shots, and trying to complete complicated trick shots. I parked the car out the front and Dad laughed.

"This was the big secret?"

I smiled. "It's only stop one of the day."

The building hadn't changed. It was still stood in the block surrounded nothing but dead grass and old trees. The car park was fairly full, it was Christmas holidays after all. And the walls were still the faded yellow, the paint peeling off from the years of rain abuse, and the broken neon sign that meant to read 'Bob's Mini Golf' instead read 'Ob ini olf'. No one had taken the time to give the building some much needed love.

Dad said, "Why are you dragging me around? You should be spending the day with Sirius, not me."

I frowned. "I spend all day every day with him at school. He will survive one day without me."

"You sure about that?"

I couldn't imagine Sirius surviving in the muggle world alone for very long, but he knew how to contact me if he got into major trouble. "He will be fine." I climbed from the car. "You coming?"

Dad followed me in. I paid for one game, and noticed my credit card was missing. I frowned, and was sure that I had left home with it. I ignored it and paid cash instead. I must have forgotten to grab it.

With two balls and two putters, off we went. It didn't take long for us to fall into our own rhythm except Dad wasn't failing on purpose, he was trying to win. By the end of the game I won, and Dad looked rather disappointed.

"When did you get so good?" he asked, as we walked to the car.

I smirked. "I'm just awesome at everything."

The whole morning, we travelled from place to place, having fun, doing silly things that neither of us had done since before I started at Hogwarts. It was good to see Dad smile a real smile, that lit up his cheeks and eyes.

It was almost twelve o'clock when Dad's phone rang. He frowned and flipped it open. Dad didn't like having a mobile phone, he thought they were a strange device like most wizards, but it was the only connection that we had to Mum's family. Without it, Dad would never speak to Mum's parents or younger brother. All of which lived in Scotland.

"Lyall Lupin speaking," he said. He frowned, before holding the phone to me. "It's for you."

I took the phone. "Hello?"

"Hey, Moony." It was Sirius. "I'm in a little bit of trouble."

"What kind of trouble?"

"Well, I was trying to buy you a present, and I got all confused trying to use the plastic card thingy that I took from your wallet. The person said I needed a pin number and she then accused me of stealing it because I didn't know the number. I tried to explain but she called the security guards and now they are holding me until either the police arrive or the owner of the card arrives."

I sighed. "Why did you take it without telling me?"

"I'd seen you use it before, I thought I could work it out."

"Where are you exactly?"

The phone was handed to the head of security. After a short conversation with the man, Dad and I drove down the road to save Sirius from himself. As we pulled up into the car park, I spotted a member of security and explained the situation, the woman kindly escorted Dad and I to their small holding quarters.

We walked through a door and I could hear Sirius.

"You have to admit it would be rather cool if I could just wave a wand and undo these hand cuffs," he said.

This boy would be the death of me. "Sirius?" I called out.

I heard a squeak of a chair, and he yelled back. "Moony!" He smiled at me. "Love, I'm so glad you came."

"Which one of you is the owner of the card?" A tall man dressed in a security uniform asked.

I raised my hand. "Me. The crazy loon's boyfriend."

The man frowned. "I will need to see some idea before I hand over Mr Black and your card."

I nodded and pulled out my wallet.

The security guard told me to keep an eye on my boyfriend. With a firm grip on Sirius's hand, I dragged him from the centre. I pushed him into the back seat of the car and he pouted.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"I know."

He leant forward and wrapped his arms around me. "I just wanted to get you something nice."

I gently rubbed his arm. "I know."

"Did I ruin your dad?"

Dad climbed into the driver's seat, as I shook my head. "No, you didn't."

"Alright, now that is sorted. Who is hungry?" asked Dad.


	13. Chapter 13: Trying to Seal the Deal

**Chapter 13: Trying to Seal the Deal**

* * *

I was glad to be returning to Hogwarts. I had loved being with my family, but getting away from the family drama and the tensions that I had sensed between Dad and Debby. Being back at school I could just focus on my studies and on Sirius.

Our relationship was slowly becoming heavier with every passing day. I craved him more and more often; Moony was begging me to take him, and I would have loved nothing more. I could also tell Sirius wanted to go further but we had yet to really discuss what it would mean. I didn't want to go so far that he would maybe regret it one day bonding with me. I never wanted that.

We sat on the train together; I had a book in one hand, while Sirius lay down on the seat. He had fallen asleep not long after we left London. Our previous nights, activities had kept us up till late, and clearly, I had worn him out. Running my fingers through his hair, I smiled at his peaceful face. He was so handsome.

He stirred and reached up to grasp my hand. He brought my hand to his lips and he kissed my palm, before breathing in heavily. "You always smell so good," he said.

I smiled down at him. "You should try smelling yourself."

He sat up and leaned into me. "It's all natural."

I slipped my arm over his shoulder, and around his stomach. I kissed the side of his head. "Did you have a good sleep?"

"Yeah. I had a wonderful dream."

"What was it about?"

"You." He leaned his head up and kissed my chin. "And me." He kissed my cheek. "Us."

"Oh really," I said. Moving my head, I captured his lips with mine. "What were we doing?"

"You had me stripped bare, and fucking me down the window. We fogged up the whole compartment." He grinned and nibbled on my lip.

"You're such a tease." I pushed my tongue into his mouth and tightened my grip around him. I wanted him so bad.

He gasped and tried to pull me closer, but I pulled back. "No don't stop," he said.

"As much as I would love to, I don't think we should. What if someone to walk in?"

"Then they would get one hell of a show." He pulled me back in for another kiss.

"Sirius…" I pulled back again.

"What's wrong?"

"We can't."

He huffed and pulled away from me.

"Don't be angry with me."

"How do you expect me to act. We have been together for almost six months and every time we get close to have sex, you pull away."

"It isn't because I don't want you."

"Then why? Because I am extremely horny."

"Because if we have sex then we become mated."

He frowned. "So?"

"So? Sirius, you become my mate, my partner for the rest of my life. My feelings will never change for you, but you could feel different about me. I don't want us to take that step if one day you won't want me anymore."

His frown softens and he turned to face me completely. He shifted and sat on my lap, his knees either side of me. He cupped my face and kissed me gently. "I'll always want you." He kissed me again, with more force.

Our tongues moved together, and I couldn't help but moan as he rubbed himself against me.

"I love you," he said.

I smiled. "I love you too."

He kissed me softer this time. His hips pushing themselves against mine. His hands gripped my shirt and used one hand to start unbuttoning my shirt.

I took his hand in mine. "Sirius."

"I am not going to change my mind."

"You don't know that."

"Yes, I do."

"Let's make a deal."

"What kind of deal?"

"In two months time, if you still love me and in no way have changed your mind then we can become bonded."

"Two months?"

I nodded. "Two months."

"Can we still do what we have been doing?"

I smiled. "I don't think I'd be able to hold back." I kissed him this time.

He smiled against my lips. And mumbled, "Neither could I."

We spent the rest of the train to Hogsmeade doing what we had always done. Fogging up the windows of the compartment wasn't hard to do. Not long before the train arrived, we manage to pull ourselves apart, clean ourselves up and dress.

As we step out of the compartment, I remembered that we had forgotten to use any silencing charms. Sirius wasn't exactly quiet when it came to any sort of intimacy, and the looks that we were getting from girls as well as boys, told us that they knew what we had been up to. Sirius didn't even blink though. He wasn't ashamed of what he did or who knew it. As long as he was happy.

By the time we reached the Gryffindor common room, James had already heard about it. Gossip in schools spread way too quickly. After having a laugh and a catch up with the boys, it was time for dinner. As I sat by Sirius, I could see that the gears in his head were turning. Our discussion on the train wasn't over, and I could tell it would be repeated a lot in the next few weeks.

* * *

It had been two weeks since I talked to Sirius and we made our deal. Two months he had to wait, and if he still loved me then, we would have sex and complete the bond. But, even though he had agreed to wait, he wasn't making it easy on me.

The first 'attack' as I was calling them occurred on our second day back. I had just finished my double potions class and was making my way to a double defence class. Sirius had been nowhere in sight for potions, and I couldn't help but wonder where he was. I decided I would find him after defence if he didn't show up.

I got my answer rather quickly as I rounded a corner and warm hands dragged me from the corridor into an empty classroom. Warm, and familiar, lips attacked mine and I couldn't help but attack him back. Sirius was dressed in casual clothing, and I could feel how hard he was already.

His hands pushed my books from my hands to the floor, and my bag off my shoulder. He pulled me forwards until he hit a table. He pulled me into his lap and pulled my shirt from where it was tucked in.

I groaned as he ran his fingers over my clothes dick. "Fuck," I moaned out.

"Someone is eager." He bit down on my bottom lip.

"Where have you been?" I asked. Our lips never leaving each other.

He undid my belt and threw it away. "James and I were setting up our next prank."

"And that involved skipping class?"

He nodded and moved his lips from mine to my neck. "It took longer than expected. Besides, it was only potions."

I moaned as he bit down. I pushed my hips down against his, needing some sort of friction.

He cupped me through my pants and squeezed. "I need you, Remus."

I moaned and pulled his lips back to mine.

"I need you inside me." He whimpered and thrust his hips up, pushing over covered members together.

I gasped, "Two months." Were the only words I managed to get out.

He whined and thrust his hips up again.

I kept my lips attached to his. Gripping his shoulders, I thrust my hips in time with him. We were humping each other; just likes the beasts we were. It wasn't the first time we had done it either.

"Fuck," he groaned and pushed against me even harder. "I'm gonna cum." He kissed along my cheek and ear. "Cum with me."

I gasped as he thrust up once more. Both of us found our end and collapsed against one another. I held onto him, trying to catch my breath. My pants were sticking and gross, but I couldn't bring myself to move.

He kissed my neck, and said, "Now imagine that but ten times better."

I frowned.

"Because I will rock your world."

I snorted with laughter. "Okay, sure." I sat up and kissed him. "We better go." I climbed off him and pulled my wand from my pocket. With a wave, both of us were fresh and clean. "We are now late for defence."

"So, worth it."

I smiled. "Defiantly."

We were even later, after a rushed second round, but finally ran into the classroom with a pointed look from James, Lily and our teacher. Guess what we had been up too wasn't so secret.

The second attack occurred a few days later. I had gone to bed early after a particularly busy day and was woken up by a warm body slipping into my bed. It wasn't uncommon to wake up with Sirius curled up with me. He didn't like sleeping in his own bed anymore. And it never bothered me.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and began to kiss my shoulder.

I hummed and turned my head to kiss him.

He was gently and sweet, and tried to sneak his hands down my pants.

I frowned and nudged him away. "Not tonight."

He kissed my cheek. "I need you."

I rolled my eyes. It was he newest thing. He always needed me, needed me to take him, to fuck him. It was getting old.

"And I need to sleep."

He whined in my ear. "Please, baby." He nibbled my ear and tried to slip his hands in again.

I pushed my elbow back and knocked him in the gut.

He grunted in shock and fell out of my bed.

I pulled my curtains shut again and fell back asleep.

The next morning, he apologised; and I didn't hold it against him.

The third 'attack' was only minutes ago. The full moon was in three days and I had been trying to finish all my assignments early so that I wouldn't fall behind. Being able to control myself made things easier, but my whole body was sore from the change for a few days after every moon. And my mood swings beforehand were filled with lust driven desires for Sirius.

Walking into the common room, looking for a book I had to read, and finding Sirius—completely naked—on my bed with a sexy smile on his face wasn't a distraction I needed. My dick turned hard just from the sight of him. He didn't say anything, just licked his lips and wiggled his finger at me.

Moony screamed at me to jump on him. Do whatever I wanted and I was so close to cracking. I had taken a step forward, but forced myself to stop. I shook my head and turned around. I had stormed out of the common room and just walked away. It took me almost an hour to calm down, and relax.

I found myself walking around trying to find a way to distract myself. I ended up at the top of the astronomy tower, watching the sun set. It was peaceful and beautiful.

My peace was disturbed though by Lily. She walked over and leaned on the railing beside me. She nudged my shoulder, and said, "Sirius is acting like a wounded animal."

I sighed. "I won't have sex with him."

She looked surprised. "I thought you two were way past that."

I chuckled. "I know it seems like it, but we haven't actually gone that far."

"Why not? It's clear you two love each other. And believe me, sex with someone you love is better than with some random. Epically if they are well endowed."

I cringed. "I don't want to know how well-endowed James is."

Lily giggled. "Sorry."

"It's alright."

"But, seriously. Why haven't you gone that far yet?"

"Because of me being a werewolf, it changes things. Sirius is a potential mate, and if we have sex—and because I have accepted Sirius as a potential mate—when it happens he becomes my actual mate."

"So, it's a lifelong thing. Once you chose, that's it. No second choice?"

I nodded. "Unless he were to die."

"Are you unsure of your feelings for him?"

"God no. I love him. I want him so bad."

"Are you worried about him?"

"Yes. I don't want him to pick me and then regret it. He can change his mind in ten years if he wants to, but I can't. I'm scared that if he does change his mind, then I will spend the rest of my life heartbroken."

She sighed and pulled me into a light hug. "If you are afraid to let yourself love him completely then you will never be happy. Life is all about taking risks, and sometimes they don't work out. But, guess what, sometimes they do." She smiled at me. "Now I know it might take some time, but you two need to sit down and have a long conversation about all of this until you both understand."

I nodded again. "Yes, ma'am."

"Good. Now go find your man. He was looking rather depressed earlier."

I left Lily and made my way to the Gryffindor common room. Rushing inside, I found James and Peter playing chess. "Where's Sirius?" I asked.

James sighed. "He was moping around here not long ago."

"Said something about going for a walk," said Peter.

I frowned. They weren't very helpful. I left the common room and went to the one place I knew he liked to think. The edge of the black lake. I ran through the corridors, only slowly when I spotted a teacher. And reached the lake.

I looked down the hill and spotted Sirius sitting in a huddled position. I was so scared to deal with it. If we did this and became mated, it would change everything for me. He would be my one and only. I already saw him that way anyway, I couldn't imagine myself with anyone else. I had to do what Lily said, I needed to take a risk.


	14. Chapter 14: A Deal

**Chapter 14: A Deal**

* * *

The almost full moon sparkled in the night sky. Its bright light highlighted the path as I walked down to the lake. Sirius hadn't been in any of his usual places, the only one left was the lake. Lily was right, I need to make sure he understood that I loved him and wanted him as bad as he wanted me.

Looking down the hill I spotted Sirius. He was dressed in summer clothing; he must be freezing. I walked down the hill and stopped a few feet behind him; I could hear his teeth chattering. Pulling my coat off, I lay it over his shoulders and sit down beside him.

He looked up surprised, and his eyes brightened slightly. He was happy to see me at least.

"Why are you out here without a jacket? You could freeze."

He shrugged. "I wasn't thinking."

"I think we are both guilty of that lately." I leaned closer to him, our shoulders gently pressing against one another.

"Do you love me?" he asked.

I couldn't help but feel hurt by his question. Why would he think anything but that I do love him? "Yes," I said. Leaning closer, I kissed him. There was no other way that I knew that could explain it. Words were failing both of us, and I needed him to understand.

He pulled back from the kiss. "Then why won't you take things further?"

I took and a deep breath and pulled him against me. He snuggled his head into my chest as I wrapped my arms around his body. I kissed the top of his head, his scent calming me. "I want to. Please believe me when I say that I really want to through you down every minute of every day and have my way with you. You have pushed my self-control to the limit, which is why today I walked away from you."

He didn't say anything.

I tried to take Lily's advice. Explain to him that I was scared. Another deep breath of his scent, and another kiss—this time to the back of his neck—and I said, "I'm scared that in the future, whether it be ten years or fifty years, that one day you could change your mind and decide that you don't love me anymore and that you don't want to be with me anymore."

Sirius sat up and frowned. "No, never. I would never want anyone but you."

"I know that it is what you want now."

He shook his head and cupped my face. "Now and forever."

I smiled. "I know you believe that now. I don't doubt your love for me."

"Make me yours completely. Let's complete the bond and you don't have to worry. Mark me as yours for everyone to see and you won't have to worry."

I almost laughed. He didn't understand it. I pulled his lips to mine again. I could feel the desperation, love and desire. My body and soul craved him, as much he wanted me. But he needed to understand. "When we complete the bond, things don't work as you expect them too."

He frowned.

"I have multiple possible mates in the world, but once I pick one mate that is it. Forever and ever, I can't love anyone else."

"And I want to be that one."

"Let me finish." I kissed his cheek.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

"But since you are a normal wizard, you're not a werewolf, you can love more than one person. Normal people fall out of love all the time. Marriages end and those people find someone new to love. That could happen to you. In one month, one year, ten years. You might stop loving me. And if you did, if we created this bond, and you changed your mind, I don't think I could survive."

Sirius's eyes were shining with realisation. He understood my fear, I could see it. He nuzzled his face into my neck and wrapped his arms around me. He pulled himself into my lap and squeezed me. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"No," he said. He looked me in the eyes, tears falling down his cheeks.

I reached up to wipe them away.

"I will love you forever. I will never change my mind. If I have to, I will find a way to make sure I can't fall out of love with you. There has to be a spell or a ritual that will bind my heart to yours forever."

God, I loved him. I grabbed his face and pulled his lips to mine. He meant every single word and I loved him even more.

"In five weeks, it will be Valentine's day." He took a deep breath. "Our first Valentine's day. And I know it sounds extremely corny, but if I am still telling you that I love you, completely, will you then agree to complete the bond with me."

How could I deny him? He had poured his heart out to be. I loved him too much to deny him any longer. So, I nodded. "Yes." I kissed him. "Valentine's Day is the deadline."

He smiled. "It's a deal."

I returned his smile and pulled his lips back to mine again. Moving one hand into his hair, I gripped his long locks and pulled him closer. Our teeth mashed together, and our tongues danced. My other hand wrapped around his waist and pulled him closer.

His hands gripped my hair, and he rocked against me.

I moaned into his mouth. _I need him._ I brought my lips down his neck, and sucked hard, leaving a clear mark on him.

Our hips rocked together, the friction felt amazing against my hardening member. I rolled us over so he was below me. My jacket was the only thing separating us from the stones below us. I rocked against him with my force.

He allowed moans and gasps to escape his lips. Him groaning my name only drew more desire from me. He wrapped his legs around my waist and brought my lips away from his throat to his lips. Opening his mouth for me, I tasted every inch.

My thrust against him grew faster and harder; both of us were so close to our climax's. He looked me in the eye and cupped my cheeks. He smiled and moaned. "Fuck." His breathing was erratic and his face flushed. "Just like this. I can imagine you being inside of me. Your cock filling me. Fucking me."

I pushed harder. His words were bringing me close.

"God, I can't wait for you to make me yours."

"Mine." My words came out as a growl.

"Yes, yours! ARRH! REMUS!" He moaned out my name and brought me to my own end.

I lay on top of him panting, wanting more of him. But the sticky mess would quickly dry and make me uncomfortable, as it would for him too. I pulled my wand from my pocket and cleaned us both up, before kissing him again.

He looked up at me with a dazed smiled. "You normally aren't one for making me cum outside." He nibbled my lip. "Anyone could have caught us."

I kissed him and ran my tongue along his bottom lip. "The closer to the full moon it gets, the horny I become. My restraint is at an all-time low."

He smirked. "That's good to know."

"Let's go back to the common room. We can warm each other up even more if we are wrapped in a blanket."

He nodded and kissed me again. "Great idea."

Somehow, I managed to pull away from him and lead him back to the common room. My jacket wrapped around me, and he snuggled against my side, as we walked. A few students gave us a few looks; no doubt our hair and faces gave away what we had been up too, but I was too happy to care.

Once in our room, we showered together, before climbing into my bed. The curtains were drawn and a privacy spell around us, we were left in peace. But Sirius was more exhausted then he thought, and quickly, he fell asleep in my arms.

I watched him sleep for a while, before closing my own eyes and allowing sleep to take me as well.


	15. Chapter 15: Tension

**Chapter 15: Tension**

* * *

The weeks at Hogwarts seemed to go by slowly. Everything was back to normal; everyone was happy. Sirius and I were attached at the hip, spending as much alone time together as we could. And even after our deal our hormones hadn't taken a break. Constantly we would be dragging one another into an empty room, or a secret passage. We spent more time undressing one another to have a taste, or get off, then we did hanging out with our friends. My world was becoming only about Sirius, he was the only thing I wanted or needed; however, our friends began to feel neglected.

James and Lily had demanded a double-date during the next Hogsmeade trip. At first Sirius had declined, not liking the idea of a double-date; but James and Lily, mostly Lily, kept interrupting us. Five times in a row, she managed to stop Sirius and I from getting our happy ending. Twice in the common room, how she got in I don't know. One time, down by the lake; it seemed to be becoming a regular occurrence. And another two times in empty classrooms.

After a serious case of blue balls, Sirius agreed and slammed the door in her face. And after a few minutes of awkwardness, we got found out just how fast we could get the other off. We were only a few minutes late to class.

But the date of our double-date had arrived and Sirius had spent most of the night before complaining. I sat on my bed, a book in my heads and his head in my lap. He was going on and on about how it was weird that couples had to go out together, and that the point of a date was for a couple to spend time alone. After five minutes of him rambling, I had tuned him out and focused on my book.

The door to our room swung open and Peter walked in. He hadn't been around much lately, and it wasn't because we had ignored him, but he seemed to be avoiding us. James had even mentioned his lack of appearance. In class, he would always be on time and was quieter than usual, and he was always in his bed at night. But meals, in-between classes, and weekends, he was a no show.

I clamped my hand over Sirius's mouth to shut him up, and said, "Hey Pete."

Sirius frowned at me but sat up to look at our friend.

Peter barley glanced at me, but mumbled, "Hello."

"Where you been?" I asked.

"Library," he said.

"I thought you finished all your assignments yesterday?"

"I was going over them."

"Oh, okay."

Sirius dropped back onto my lap. "You seem to spend a lot of time in the library. Are you turning into Remus?" He smirked, thinking he was funny.

I nudged him with my knee.

Peter huffed. "I just care about my grades unlike you. Sorry, that I wasn't born with natural talents in defence or charms or transfigurations." His face had gone slightly red.

Sirius sat back up, and said, "Wow, okay. Where did that come from?"

"Something bothering you, Pete?" I asked.

"Yeah, you are." Peter grabbed his bag again and stormed out of our room.

Sirius turned to look at me, he was as shocked as I was. "What on earth?" he said.

"Something is clearly wrong with him," I said.

Sirius nodded. "I'll get James to talk to him. He always did like James best."

"Yeah," I mumbled in agreement. What could possibly have made him so angry?

James got back to the common room late. Sirius and I were cuddled in my bed, dressed, and simply enjoying our shared warmth. As James walked in he froze and smacked his hand over his eyes.

Sirius snorted with laughter. "It's okay, James. We aren't naked, or doing anything like that."

"You promise?" he asked.

I smirked. "Yes, I promise."

He sighed and dropped his hand. "Good."

I snuggled into Sirius' chest and closed my eyes. I was tired.

"You spoken to Peter lately?" Sirius asked.

"Not really," said James. "He seemed to be busy a lot."

"Well, we think something is bothering him," said Sirius.

James asked, "Why?"

"He came back earlier, and we were just talking to him, trying to find out what he has been up to and he blew up at us."

"Doesn't sound like Pete."

"That's what we thought."

"I'll talk to him when I get the chance. Maybe something has happened at home."

"But why wouldn't he tell us?"

"He might be feeling left out," I said.

Sirius looked down at me. "What do you mean?"

"Well, James is with Lily, and they spend a lot of their time together; you and I are constantly stuck to one another…"

"And been ignoring your friends," James interrupted.

I frowned at him. "But Pete doesn't have a girlfriend."

"As far as we know," said Sirius.

"Maybe he is feeling left out," I suggested.

"Or maybe he had a girlfriend, that he didn't tell us about, and he is depressed because she dumped him," said Sirius.

James and I both frowned at him, and said, "No."

He pouted and crossed his arms.

I pulled myself up so our heads were level, and said, "Don't pout. It only suits you when you are Padfoot."

"Well, you two are mean."

I couldn't help but smirk. He was too cute. "Aww," I said. "You poor baby." I kissed his lips softly, and his pout faded away.

"Um, guys; I'm still here."

I pulled back and sighed. "Right, sorry."

Sirius looked over my head at James. "If I have to put up with you and Lily tomorrow, being all lovey-dovey, then get used to seeing my lips attached to these delicious ones."

I laughed and didn't stop as Sirius kissed me again.

"Whatever," said James.

* * *

I woke up early the next morning. Sirius was snuggled against me, his arms wrapped around my lower waist, and his legs entangled with mine. I smiled at his expression, he was completely at peace. I placed a kiss on his brow before untangling myself and going into the bathroom.

I used the toilet, brushed my teeth and shaved, before having a hot shower. The warm water felt good on my body. The last full moon had gone smoothly; Sirius and I had spent most of our time in the Shrieking Shack. I hadn't really wanted to go running in the woods after being attacked. James had stayed for some of the night, before heading back. There was no need for everyone to be exhausted when I was in complete control. But my body still suffered from aches. The change still hurt, but at least there were not broken bones.

I tipped my head back and let the water hit my face. I wasn't surprised when I felt cool hands on my hips, and lips against my neck. Smiling, I turned my head and met Sirius's lips with mine. It was slow and full of love, one of the best kinds of kisses.

"Good morning," I said.

His hands moved gently across my skin. "It's always a good morning when I wake up to find you naked in the shower."

"Not this morning."

He moaned softly. "Why not?"

"Because Lily won't hesitate to interrupt us if we take too long."

Sirius whined.

I kissed him softly and smirked. "But, if you behave then tonight I will make sure you are completely and utter satisfied."

He moaned and kissed me hard. His fingers gripped my skin, and I gasped at his forceful nature. It didn't happen very often, but I loved it when it did.

A knock on the door brought us back to reality. "Hurry up you two. Lily is waiting."

Sirius huffed and let me go. "Cock blocker."

I laughed and pecked his lips again. "Later."

We walked down to Hogsmeade together. Lily had her hand clasped with James's, and Sirius had his arm around my waist. We talked and laughed, mostly at Sirius calling James a 'cock blocker' and promising to ruin his 'alone time' with Lily.

The first shop we stopped at was to cheer Sirius up. Spintwitches Sporting Needs allowed Sirius and James to fawn over new equipment they could buy for Quidditch, or their favourite teams merchandise. Lily and I wander around, watching our boyfriends fawn over everything—it was rather amusing—until Sirius tried to get me to join in. I liked Quidditch, and cheering James on was fun, but I wasn't obsessed like they were.

Next was the local bookshop, Tomes and Scrolls. Lily and I were known, by name, we visited so often. I was excited when the middle-aged man, who ran the shop, told me my order was in. It was a surprise for Sirius, and I needed to distract him. I leaned close to Lily and whispered, "Can you distract Sirius for a minute or two?"

She smiled and nodded. "Of course, I can."

I thanked her and snuck towards the back of the shop.

The owner appeared and allowed me to pay and hide the bag before Sirius came looking. With the book hidden, I moved into the shelves and pretended that I hadn't noticed that they weren't with me.

Sirius's cold hands startled me though, when he slipped them under my jacket and shirt and gently rubbed them across my stomach. He smirked and nuzzled my neck. "Are my hands cold?"

I nodded. "Very."

He kissed my cheek. "Maybe you should warm them up."

I turned to face him and smiled. "Okay." I grabbed his hands and pushed them into the pockets of his own jacket.

From behind him, Lily and James laughed. I joined in as Sirius frowned at me. "You are so mean to me when they are around," he said.

I pecked his cheek. "I'm sorry."

"No." He pulled away holding his hands up. "I'll go find someone who wants me to love them."

Lily and I continued to laugh as Sirius dragged James out of the shop. They weren't going far, so Lilly and I continued to look through the shelves. I found three books I was interested in and approached the counter. As I was paying the door swung open, and the person walked straight up behind me. I thought it was Sirius coming to hurry me up. "I'm coming," I said. I turned and was shocked to see Severus standing there, not Sirius. "Severus."

"Hello, Remus." He smiled softly.

I hadn't spoken to Severus since before Christmas. Avoiding him had worked so far, and Sirius had kept him away with death stares and threats that would send anyone running. I hadn't expected him to appear.

"How are you?" he asked.

"Fine, thank you. Yourself?" I shouldn't have spoken to him. Leaving would have been the best plan."

"Well. It seems that your friends have decided that their time would be best spent elsewhere than making my life a living hell."

"Severus!" Lily appeared from between the shelves.

"Hello, flower." He smiled at her softly. The affection and love for her shined in his eyes.

She blushed. "Don't call me that. I'm not a kid anymore."

He chuckled. "Sorry, no can do."

The door swung open behind Severus, and this time it was Sirius. "Would you girls hurry up please," he said. His eyes landing on Severus. "I told you to stay away from him." He moved around Severus to stand in front of me.

"It isn't my fault he was in here when I entered." Severus glared at him.

Sirius stepped forward, trying to tower over him. "You should have left as soon as you saw him."

"I am not bound by what you saw Black. I have books I need. If you don't want him near me then leave."

I grabbed Sirius's hand and moved him towards the door. I didn't say goodbye, just dragged Sirius away.

Outside Sirius pulled me in for a hard kiss. It was raw and rough and full of desperation. Not for me, but desperation for confirmation. He wanted to know that I would choose him and always him.

I held him close and tried to help him. Severus was no threat to us, merely a bump in the road. One that was easily forgotten about.

Sirius pulled back and took in a deep breath. "Are you okay?" he asked.

I nodded. "I'm fine."

He smiled and led me away from the bookshop.

We ended up in the Three Broomsticks with James. He had four butter beers on the table and a booth for us. I slid in first and allowed Sirius to pull me against him. I gripped one of his hands and settled them on my thigh. I kept a tight grip, giving him all the comfort I could.

James frowned, and asked, "Where's Lily?"

"Talking to her B.F.F!" Sirius grumbled.

"Ran into Snape?" asked James.

I nodded.

"What on earth is going on?" Lily appeared at the table. Her face twisted with confusion. "Sirius?"

He didn't look at her. He kept his eyes locked on our joined hands.

I sighed. "When Sirius and I were still trying to work out our relationship, and we weren't speaking Severus propositioned me multiple times. He kissed me twice and tried to give me a blowjob. All against my wishes. After I ended up in the hospital wing, Severus proceeded to rub it in Sirius's face that I was his sloppy leftovers."

Lily frowned.

"While he would never say it." I nudged Sirius's leg with my own. "Severus makes him feel insecure."

Sirius huffed.

I leant over and kissed the side of his head.

"Oh," was all Lily said.

"Don't worry about, it Lily. You are friends with Snape and that is fine." James spoke up.

"I knew Severus had a thing for you, but why would he act like that?" Lily leaned back in the booth. Her mind clearly trying to sort through the new information.

"He has a crush on Remus?" Sirius snapped.

I squeezed his hand. "Relax."

He took a deep breath.

"Yeah, he has for some time." Lily reached for her butter beer. "But he never acted on it because he figured that would only increase the bullying from you lot. I guess when he noticed that you and Remus weren't talking that it was his chance to see if they could be together. Severus doesn't really understand who to express his feelings though."

"So, he tries to molest Remus instead." Sirius was angry.

I rubbed my thumb in circles over his hand, trying to calm him.

"I think 'molest' is a little strong." Lily frowned.

"Come on, let's forget about it," said James.

I nodded. "Today was meant to be fun."

Sirius sighed, but didn't say anything.

I leaned closer so my lips were near his ear. "I love you," I said.

His anger cracked and a soft smile touched his lips and eyes. "I love you too."

I returned the smile and kissed him softly.


	16. Chapter 16: Peter or Wormtail or Rat?

**Chapter 16: Peter or Wormtail or Rat?**

* * *

Peter won't talk to anyone of us. He is avoiding me, Sirius and James, and when we manage to find him, he runs off as quickly as he can. It not only affects me but Moony too, one of his pack seems to hate us and we don't understand why. I had tried to figure it out but have come up with nothing.

I couldn't help but wonder what we had done wrong as I walked from the library to the Quidditch field. Sirius and James were spending some extra time practicing for their upcoming game, and Sirius had admitted to me that he liked seeing me cheering him on. I wasn't going to disappoint him.

I moved down the staircase towards the pitch when I spotted Peter walking towards me. I smiled at him, hoping to get a chance to stop him. "Hey Pete," I said.

He paused on the step and forced a smile. He looked almost pained. "Hi."

"How are you?"

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure? James, Sirius and I have been worried about you."

"I'm fine."

"If you do need to talk-"

"I wish you would all just leave me alone."

"I'm sorry."

"Why can't you understand that you three aren't my only friends?"

I frowned. We had never assumed that. But Peter had always followed James around. Sirius teased him all the time about it. Had it finally gotten to him? Was he mad at all of us? "We don't think that."

"Whatever, I have to go."

"Pete, wait.

"What will it take for you to get it. I don't want to be friends with a bunch of faggots. Just leave me the fuck alone."

The word 'faggot' hit me hard. Ever since Sirius and I became a public couple some Slytherins had sneered the word at us, but it had never bothered me. Everyone that mattered to us was supportive and didn't care that we weren't a traditional couple. But Peter, one of our closest friends, hated us for it.

I could feel tears pricking my eyes. I didn't want to cry. I watched as he disappeared down the hall. He hated me because I loved Sirius. I rubbed away the tears and headed to the Quidditch pitch. The tears continued to fall as I stumbled up through the stands. Passing students gave me odd looks, but I didn't care. I wanted Sirius.

I reached the top of the stands and dropped onto one of the seats. The tears were pouring down my face, Moony was crying out. His pack was broken. I took a deep breath and heard my name being shouted.

"Moony!"

I saw Sirius flying towards me. A bright smile across his face. I tried to smile but couldn't manage to.

Sirius frowned and jumped off his broom, and sat beside me. "Baby, what's wrong?"

I wrapped my arms around him and held him close. I buried my face into his chest and let the tears bubble out of me. My hiccupped but managed to say, "Peter hates us."

"What?" he asked. His arms held me tightly against him.

"Peter said he couldn't be friends with a bunch of faggots like us." I hiccupped again.

Sirius kissed my head. "I'm going to kick his ass for making you cry."

I shook my head, trying to bury myself into him further.

He squeezed me and kissed my cheek. "Don't cry for him. He is a fucking asshole and a bigot. We don't need him."

"Moony feels so broken. We have lost part of our pack."

Sirius sighed. He pulled my face up to his. I no doubt looked horrible. I could feel the salt tears staining my cheeks and the snot bubbling in my nose. He smiled softly and cupped my cheeks.

I wiped my nose.

He kissed my forehead. "It will get better. Pettigrew is nothing but a filthy rat."

"I love you," I said.

"I love you too."

Sirius ended up taking me back to our common room. We lay on my bed for most of the afternoon, until James came looking for us. His face was red and he was angry. I had begged Sirius not to tell him, but Sirius didn't lie to James about anything.

James sat down on his bed. "I punch him in the face."

"Who?" I sat up.

"Peter." James rubbed at his knuckles.

"Good, the rat deserved it." Sirius pulled me against him. "He is lucky I wasn't there. I would have made the little shit cry."

"Snape and Malfoy jumped into defend him."

Sirius almost growled. "The fucker has betrayed Gryffindor for those slimy fuckers."

"Apparently." James stood and kicked his trunk. "I can't believe that asshole. I'm going to speak to McGonagall. I don't want to share a room with him."

"Good idea. We will come too." Sirius stood and tried to pull me from the bed.

I shook my head and stayed where I was. "I want to get some rest before tonight."

"It's a full moon tonight?" James asked. "Already?"

I nodded. "Comes around quick."

"You rest up," said Sirius. He kissed my head and moved towards the door with James. "I'll come and wake you up for dinner."

I curled up under my blankets after drawing the curtains shut. I closed my eyes and tried to sleep, but Moony was crying for his pack to be whole again. I buried my face into Sirius's pillow, hoping that his scent would calm us both. And it did, a little. It was enough to let me fall asleep.

Sirius woke me up by kissing my face.

I couldn't help but giggle as his lips tickled me.

He smiled and said, "Evening. Sleep well?"

I nodded. "Is it time for dinner?"

He nodded.

I ran my hands through my hair and flattened the tangled mess. I straighten my uniform and pulled on my cloak. Holding on tight to Sirius's hand, we made our way down to the Great Hall.

We sat with Lily and James, who were talking with a few other Gryffindor's. Lilly smiled at me as we sat down. "James told me what happened. Are you okay?"

I shrugged. I really didn't know.

"Let's not think about it." Sirius kissed the side of my head.

The food appeared in front of us and Peter was forgotten for the moment. I ate my dinner in silence and allowed my friends to make conversation. Without Peter around, the feel was off. We could all feel the awkwardness of what had happened hanging over all of us, and the fact that Peter was nowhere in sight made it even more obvious.

I finished my food and left the table early. I kissed Sirius cheek and made my way down to the Shrieking Shack. I dropped onto the old mat in the corner of one room and brought my knees to my chest. Moony was restless inside of me, letting him out with me being emotionally unstable would be dangerous but I trusted James and Sirius to keep me in check.

I stripped down and placed my clothes in the cupboard. Instead of waiting for the moon to force Moony out I took a deep breath. Changing into Moony by choice was difficult and painful. But I need to let go and giving Moony that small bit of control could let me forget about Peter for a while.

My legs cracked and I fell onto my hands and knees. I gasped in pain and clutched at my ribs as they expanded and grew out. My skin peeled away and was replaced by Moony's soft fur. I stretched up and let out a cry which faded into a howl.

Moony shook his body and stretched out his limbs. He grumbled and howled again. He wanted Sirius with him, he wanted his mate. I moved us over to the mattress and curled up into a ball. We would wait for him.

I heard the heaviness of their feet before I smelt it. Rat. A squeak followed a growl that rumbled from my chest. Moony could smell Peter and he was angry. I stood from my spot and watched as the rat dashed into the room. He squeaked in surprise at me. Sirius flew into the room and pointed his wand at Peter.

The rat grew and changed into the boy. Peter stumbled back away from me. "Please don't hurt me."

Moony forced out a growl. I wouldn't hurt him but Moony wanted to. I pulled us back and over to Sirius. I nuzzled our face into Sirius's chest and he gently scratched my head. Moony purred at the touch.

"Remus would never hurt you. Not even after what you said," said Sirius.

James walked into the room. "I can't believe you."

Peter sniffed and sobbed. "I didn't mean to."

Moony growled.

"I had no choice."

"You always have a choice, Pettigrew." Sirius snapped. He hadn't called him Peter since I told him what had happened. Sirius used people's surnames to distance himself from them. He was angry and hurt after losing his friend, and it was his way of making sure Peter knew it.

"I'm in love," said Peter, "with a Slytherin. I had no choice. They won't be with me if I'm friends with a werewolf and two blood traitors."

"You sound just like them." James turned his back of Peter and moved to leave the room. "I never want to speak to you again. You are as disgusting and pathetic as they are."

Sirius glared at him and shook his head. He shifted into Padfoot and nudged my leg. He wanted me to follow. He moved towards the door.

My control slipped and Moony pushed us towards the shaking Peter. He growled in his face and stood fall above him. I pulled Moony back. Turning us away, I followed after Sirius. We left the Shrieking Shack behind and disappeared into the trees.

Sirius came to a stop by a small pond. He turned back into himself and sat down. The moon was high in the sky now, and as I stopped Moony let out a loud howl. Full of pain. Losing a member of his pack was making him angry. He also wanted more than ever to claim Sirius, and make sure that he couldn't lose him.

I laid us down behind Sirius and wrapped my body around him, my head in his lap.

He sighed and leant against me. "I can't believe that rat."

I nuzzled his stomach.

"I wanted to turn him into Moony's next meal. The satisfaction of watching him squirm wasn't enough." His fingers ran through my fur.

I sighed, wanting to forget about everything. But I smelt him before I saw him. I snapped my head and growled in the direction of the other wolf.

It stepped out of the trees and looked at both of us.

I pushed myself to stand and protect Sirius. What were they doing so close to Hogwarts?


	17. Chapter 17: The Pack

**Chapter 17: The Pack**

* * *

The wolf was the alpha. The same alpha that had attacked me. Unlike the last time, he was calm and waiting quietly. There was no growling or sense of an attack, but I kept my guard up as I stood in from of Sirius. I wasn't going to let another wolf hurt him.

The alpha shifted slightly and the wolf shape twisted and cracked until it was in the shape of a man. He had long dirty blonde hair, his skin was pale and he looked malnourished. It would have been the perfect opportunity to rip the man's head from his shoulders, eliminating any threat to Sirius; Moony was all for the idea but I held us in place.

The alpha stepped one pace towards and said, "I'm am the alpha of the Eastern Pack."

"Congratulations, why do we care?" said Sirius.

I wanted to tell him to shut up, instead, I used my back leg to knock him onto his bum. Hopefully, it would keep him quiet.

"They call me Jenson, and I require your assistance." The Alpha took a few steps back. "Return here tomorrow, alone. I do not wish to discuss private wolf matters in front of a human." He sneered the word human.

I kept my stance defensive and reminded silent.

The alpha turned back into his wolf form, bowed his head, and ran off into the trees. From what Alexander had told me when an Alpha bowed his head at you, it was a sign of respect. Alpha's bowed to no one, they were the top dog.

Once I was sure the Alpha was gone I turned back to Sirius. He was still on the ground, legs and arms crossed like a child, and he was frowning at me. I laid down on my stomach and gently placed my head in his lap. I whimpered an apology for knocking him over and nuzzled his stomach.

"No," he said, "I'm not someone you can you knock over and ignore. I am your boyfriend, not a child."

I sighed. There really wasn't a difference when it came to him. He had the maturity of a child, that was certain. I nuzzled his stomach again and tried to force myself to change back. Slowly, my bones broke and skin tore and I was back to my normal self. Except I was completely naked.

Sirius's eyes widened and his arms dropped.

I sat in his lap, my legs wrapped around his waist. "I'm sorry," I whispered and kissed his cheek. "I was only trying to protect you."

He pulled me in for a kiss, his hands sliding over my bare skin sending shivers down my spine. "I know, I'm just stubborn." He rolled us over and trapped me beneath me. "But let's make up anyway."

I laughed and nodded.

* * *

I woke up the next morning with a very warm and naked Sirius beside me. My body ached not only from the change but somehow Sirius had managed to make me cum in very intense ways using only his fingers and his tongue. We had at some point returned to the Shrieking Shack and made use of the old dusty bed in the corner.

I smiled down at Sirius and gently leant forward to press a kiss on the side of his head.

He stirred and snuggle further into me. "Morning," he said. His voice groggy from sleep.

"Good morning, sleep well?" I said.

He nodded. "I ache all over, but I slept very well."

"Same here. You are going to have to teach me how to do that thing with your tongue." I brushed my lips over his.

He smirked. "Next time I will. Or we can start practising right now. After all, practice makes perfect."

I laughed. "As tempting as your offer is we need to get back to the common room, shower, have breakfast and somehow make it to class on time."

Sirius shrugged. "We can run a few minutes late." He pulled my lips to his and kissed me slowly. His tongue ran along my lips asking for entrance; Moony begged me to let me allow his assault to continue but I knew we couldn't.

I pulled back and smiled. "We have to get going."

Sirius huffed and pushed himself to sit up. He pouted but pulled on his clothes from the night before.

We somehow made it to the common room, showered and dressed, and then made it to the great hall for breakfast. Sirius was no help with his wandering hands and lips, not that I minded by we had classes to get to.

Sitting down across from James, I could see that he was hurt and angry from our confrontation with Peter. He didn't even look up at us as we sat down. Lily was beside him, her eyes full of concern. She smiled at us softly and said, "Good morning."

"Morning." Sirius stabbed at some pancakes and dragged them onto his plate. "Did James fill you in?"

She nodded slowly. "I can't believe Peter would do something like that. He was always so sweet."

"Guess you never really know someone." James didn't look up as he spoke. His hands were clenched and his body stiff.

"There isn't anything we can do about it," said Sirius, "so let's just forget about it."

"How do you forget about six years of friendship? He was a Marauder, one of us. And now he has just turned on us for some girl. You might be able to just move on but I can't." James stood and stormed out of the hall. Eyes from every table watching him.

Lily sighed. "He has hardly spoken a word since last night. When he came back last night he made some poor second year cry when he asked for advice."

I frowned and rubbed my neck. "I don't understand why Peter has done this though. Turning on us because of a girl that he has never even spoken about. I don't buy it."

"Whatever the reason, I never want to see that rats face again." Sirius stabbed at his food. "We also need to discuss the other thing that happened last night."

"There is nothing to discuss," I said.

He frowned and leant in closer. Lowering his voice he said, "Yes, there is. You won't be going out to meet some random werewolf in the middle of the forest by yourself. That is just asking to be murdered."

I said, "He said he wouldn't hurt me. And I trust him."

He snorted in disbelief. "You want to trust a werewolf that almost killed you the last time you met."

"It was a misunderstanding," I said.

"That is a very big misunderstanding."

"What are you two going on about?" Lily looked at us confused.

Sirius said, "Remus had a little chat with another werewolf last night."

"Not the same one that attacked you?" She looked at me, shock clouding her face.

Sirius nodded. "Yep, that would be the one."

I said, "He said that we need to talk but it needs to be in private."

Lily scrunched up her eyebrows and shuffled in closer. "That sounds dangerous, Remus. Maybe you should go and talk to Professor Dumbledore. I'm sure he will know what to do."

Sirius glared. "He doesn't need to talk to anyone because he isn't going."

I poked his shoulder and said, "You are my boyfriend, Sirius, not my master. I will do as I wish."

He frowned but fell silent.

Sirius spent the rest of the day angry at me. He didn't avoid me but we continued to repeat the same conversation over and over again. By the end of our final class, I had enough.

I slipped away while Sirius was distracted and made my way back to the common room. I changed into more comfortable clothing before making sure to avoid my boyfriend. I need to talk to the alpha and find out what was going on and Sirius wasn't going to stop me.

I was walked through the corridors, not concerned about anyone spotting me. It didn't take me long to make it out of the castle and down to the edge of the woods.

I walked slowly through the trees keeping an ear open and my nose alert so I wasn't surprised by anything. It didn't take me long to get to the lake that Sirius and I had met the alpha at the night before. The sun was slowly beginning to set, I knew I would probably have to wait. I sat down on a rock and waited. I could feel Moony telling me it would be best to be in his form, it would be safer. And it would be, but it would also come across as aggressive.

I heard footsteps moving along the ground and smelt wolf. I looked up as the alpha stepped out. He was alone and perfectly calm. He moved towards me but I held my hand up. "I would feel more comfortable if we kept some distance between us," I said.

He nodded. "Of course."

"Since the first time we met you tried to kill me." I stood up so I was level with him.

He said, "I thought you were sent by Greyback. It was why we attacked you. Afterwards, I realised that you weren't."

"How did you figure that out?" I asked.

"I didn't know we had gotten this close to the school. The fact that you were able to get past its wards made it more obvious that you were a student. Greyback generally doesn't involve someone at your age in these disputes," he said.

I frowned. "What disputes?"

"I take it you're a lone wolf?"

I nodded.

"Then you wouldn't know much about packs and territory and all of those details."

I said, "I know some, I have had a teacher over the summer."

He looked surprised. "Then you should be able to understand that as an alpha I am responsible for the care of my pack and our territory. I have failed my pack as we had our land taken from us. Greyback was the alpha who pushed us out, making his territory even bigger. He is also trying to grow his pack by killing alphas or making us submit to him."

"I'm guessing you refused to submit."

He nodded. "Now we are trying to find somewhere safe that we can build a new home, but finding land that isn't already occupied it rather difficult."

"I don't understand what this has to do with me." Why did he need my help? What could I possibly do?

"While trying to find a new home, I have also been looking for wolves who would be willing to help us fight. Lone wolves like yourself are helpful because you don't answer to an alpha."

"I still don't understand."

"I want your help to kill Greyback."

I shook my head. "I don't want to be anywhere near that wolf, ever, again."

He frowned. "You know Greyback?"

"He was the one who bit me. It was revenge against my father."

"I'm sorry. No one should have this life forced upon them. But if you help me and my pack kill him then you can save other innocent people from being forcibly turned."

I wanted to help. Killing Greyback would make me happy, as well as my father. But I was scared of him Greyback was almost feral. He was cruel and horrifying. I didn't know what to do. "Can I think about it?"

He said, "Of course. Take as much time as you need. When you are ready to talk more than simply come here. I will meet you after sundown."

I nodded. "My name is Remus, by the way."

The alpha smiled. "It is a pleasure to meet you."

"It was Jenson, right?" I asked.

He said, "Yes. Thank you for meeting me. Have a good night."

I waited until Jenson turned and disappeared into the trees. Once I could no longer smell him I made my way back to the castle. I wasn't surprised as I made my way to the common room that Sirius appeared out of nowhere and attacked me.

His arms wrapped around me in a surprisingly strong grip and his lips found mine. The kiss was desperate and full of worry.

I cupped his face and smiled. "I'm fine," I said.

He frowned. "Do you have any idea how terrified I was? I went and told Dumbledore when James and I couldn't find you."

I returned him frown. "You told Dumbledore?"

"Yes, he did. I'm glad he told me."

I turned to look at the headmaster. "I'm fine, sir."

"None the less, it was very irresponsible of you to meet a strange werewolf alone. You could have been seriously hurt again." Professor Dumbledore placed his hand on my shoulder. "Are you alright? Do you need to go and see Poppy?"

I shook my head. "I'm fine. We just talked."

"Shall we discuss this in my office?" he asked.

I wanted to refuse, but now that he knew he wasn't going to simply let this go. No doubt my father knew by now and would be at Hogwarts any second. Instead of arguing, I went with Professor Dumbledore and Sirius up to the headmaster office. We sat down and I explained everything. Having my father appear midway through my explanation wasn't surprising. All of them were far too over protective.


	18. Chapter 18: A Story A Letter & True Love

**Chapter 18: A Story, A Letter, and a True Love**

* * *

I sat on a chair in the headmaster's office with Sirius beside me. He was snuggled into my side, our hands intertwined and his head on my shoulder. Professor Dumbledore sat behind his desk, James sat in another chair, and my father was pacing in the corner. All of them were staring blankly as they soaked in what I had just told them.

I was conflicted when it came to Jenson. I wanted to help but I also didn't want to be dragged into something that had nothing to do with me. I had seen my father's reaction when I mentioned Greyback's possible death, his eyes had glowed with pleasure or excitement, I knew he wanted Greyback dead. James had told me that it was ludicrous to even try and fight Greyback, and Sirius agreed.

Professor Dumbledore was the only one who hadn't spoken. I didn't know what he was thinking or what he would say. But I wanted someone who cared about what I wanted to do. I knew that it was stupid and dangerous, but I just wanted someone to listen to what I wanted to do.

Professor Dumbledore sat forward in his chair. He rested his chin on his clenched hands and said, "Remus, it is up to you to decide what you want to do. If you wish to assist the pack in their plan then I would be willing to help you, but there is only so much I can do. However, my main concern is for the students and teachers of this school. I don't believe that this pack has any harmful intentions towards us but if a student or teacher were to be bitten, it could be disastrous for all of us. I only ask that you make sure they stay well away from the school's borders and Hogsmeade. Other than that, it is up to you."

I nodded in understanding. But his answer wasn't helpful. I was glad that he was leaving the decision up to me but there was no guidance in his answer what so ever. There was only one other person, who would understand, and could give me an answer. Alexander. I would have to write to him and hopefully get a quick response. "Thank you for your trust, Headmaster," I said.

Professor Dumbledore smiled. "Of course, my boy. Now, I think you all need to get to bed. It has been a long day."

I hugged my dad goodbye and walked slowly back to the common room with James and Sirius. Surprisingly Sirius remained quiet, while James went off at me.

"Why would you even go near a strange werewolf? I understand now that you have this whole new understanding with your wolf that you're stronger and more capable, but you are still inexperienced compared to this lot. What would you have done if he had attacked you? There would have been no one around to help you."

I grabbed James by the shoulders and turned him to face me. "James, calm down."

He sighed and looked to the floor.

"I understand that you were worried, but as Dumbledore said, it is my decision."

He frowned. "Marauders stand together, in everything." I understood the double meaning in his words. Not only had Peter betrayed us, but I was keeping things from them. He was worried that we would all fall apart.

I smiled. "Yes, we do. From now on, I will tell you everything. I promise."

He finally smiled.

I hugged him and looked over at Sirius who was watching us. I pulled him into the hug as well. "I love you both."

Sirius smiled against my shoulder and James pulled back.

"Sorry boys, I am as straight as a needle."

I rolled my eyes at him.

"It's alright," said Sirius, "I don't share." He kissed my cheek.

"Come on, let's get to bed. I'm tired."

* * *

Sirius and James were out cold. James was softly snoring and half hanging out of his bed. Sirius was curled into my side, his face nuzzled into my neck, his arms wrapped around me. He had struggled to fall asleep until I started running my fingers through his hair. He had fallen asleep with a gentle smile on his face. My sleep alluded me though. My thoughts were flying around and all I wanted to do was write to Alexander. I needed someone's advice.

I slid carefully out of Sirius grip, so I didn't wake him, and walked around my bed and opened my chest. I pulled out some spare parchment and went and sat in the window. I lit a candle and allowed it to float near my paper so I could see as I wrote.

I explained everything that had happened to Alexander from the first meeting to now. I begged him for advice on what to do. It didn't take me long to write it, but once it was finished I placed the letter in my bag. I would have to go to the owlery tomorrow to send it.

I put out the candle and climbed back into bed with Sirius. His arms slid back around me and nuzzled against me. He mumbled, "I can't sleep when you aren't beside me."

I kissed his nose. "Sorry, I had to write my letter."

He kissed my neck. "It's okay. But sleep now, or we could have some fun." His words were slurred and groggy.

I laughed quietly and brought his lips up so I could kiss them. I cupped his bum and tangled my legs in between his.

He moaned against my mouth.

"Go back to sleep, I love you."

He smiled and closed his eyes. "Love you too."

I sat at the Gryffindor table with Sirius eating my breakfast. James had refused to get out of his bed, claiming he was sick and needed a day alone. I had dragged Sirius out of our room and down to the Owlery before we headed for breakfast.

I munched on some toast as Lily sat down across from us. I smiled at her but could see how worried she was.

"Is James alright?" she asked. "He wouldn't open the door or answer me."

I nodded. "He's okay. I think he just needs to be left alone to wallow for a little."

She frowned. "Okay. Just keep an eye on him for me, please. I love the moron, but he is so stubborn."

I smiled and reached over the table to grab her hand. "He will be fine, I promise."

The day seemed to drag. Sirius and I wandered from class to class, our minds to distracted by everything to really focus on what our teachers were saying. When our free period arrived, we found ourselves down by the lake. I sat behind him against a tree, he was in between my legs.

I kissed his head and asked, "What went through your mind last night when you couldn't find me?"

He sighed and gripped my hand. "Horrible things. My heart felt like it was breaking. I felt like I couldn't breathe. I was thinking of all the ways I was going to kill that alpha if he hurt you. I was a complete mess."

"So, nothing new," I teased.

He frowned. "Remus, I was terrified that you would be dead when we found you."

I hugged him. "I'm not going anywhere. We are going to spend a very long time together."

"Good." He turned his head and reached up to kiss me. It was soft and gentle. "I want you to know, that even though I don't agree with you getting involved with these werewolves, I will be by your side through the whole thing. I will stand by you through anything."

I smiled. "That is all I ever wanted." I kissed him. Slow and sweet.

"I don't want to wait anymore," he said.

"We made a deal." I kissed his cheek.

"Deals are made to be broken." His fingers slid up and around my neck. "I want to be bonded with you, completely."

I kissed his neck. "And I you."

"So, let's do this." He turned his body to face me.

I gently touched his cheek. "This isn't what I would call romantic."

"Screw romance. I'm a horny teenager who is in love with the most amazing person. I don't need candles and roses or any of that crap. I just need you and me, and no clothes." He leant his forehead on mine.

"How about a bed? I would like to take your virginity on a bed at least," I said.

"We have two to pick from in the common room."

"James is in there. Do you want to just kick him out? And they are terribly small."

He frowned. "Are you trying to ruin this?"

I wanted to laugh. "No. But our deal will be up shortly. It's two weeks until Valentine's date."

"I'm not going to feel any different in two weeks. I'm still going to love you, and want you. So why wait? I know you're as horny as I am." He leant in, his lips barely touching mine.

I was horny. And I wanted him badly. I wanted to make him mine, but we made a deal. I pulled him in for a kiss. It was gentle and slow, just like the others. There was no need to get overexcited. "I am. But we can wait two weeks."

He sighed and turned back around. He leant against me and drew his finger across my palm. "Fine. Two weeks. And then you are going to fuck me until I can't walk."

I laughed. "Charming."

"Aren't I?" He smirked.

* * *

We made our way back for dinner. Sirius held my hand and we climbed the hill. He was trying to seduce me again. His lips gently grazing over my skin as we walked. His hand sliding over my bum and crotch.

It felt good and I loved watching him beg. I just smiled and watched him but didn't react or respond. Nothing was going to happen.

As we crossed the bridge, he wrapped his arms around me. I kissed his head. He always made me smile, no matter what.

Reaching the other side of the bridge I spotted a familiar man. Alexander was standing in the courtyard with my father and Dumbledore.

I smiled. "Alex, I didn't expect you to come."

Sirius looked surprised but then frowned. "This is Alexander?"

I nodded. "Alex this is my boyfriend, Sirius."

Alex nodded polite. "Nice to meet you. Remus, we can catch up later. But right now, I need to know every detail about what has been going on with you and these wolfs. And from this moment you are not to go anywhere near them, alone or with your friends."

I frowned. What on earth? "Why?" I asked.

Alex frowned. "Please, Remus, just promise me to stay within the wards. We should go somewhere more private to discuss the rest."


End file.
